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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 19 September 2002

Goldmember has a few funny moments but is inferior compared with the other two films.  Jokes are rehashed and the “subtle wit” I spoke of has been replaced by standard gross-out jokes.  There’s a gag where Austin mocks the name of a Japanese girl called Fook Mi.  Um, not funny.

This time around, Austin is forced to travel back in time to 1975 to foil Dr. Evil’s latest plan.  A Dutch villain known as Goldmember developed the technology to create a powerful “tractor beam” and Dr. Evil wants to use it against the world.  Meanwhile, Austin has a hollow feeling in that his father, Nigel Powers (played by Michael Caine), hasn’t been around for most of his life.  So it’s going to be a buzy adventure for Austin Powers...

The opening sequence is amazing and the funniest part of the film.  There’s some wonderful star cameos that are ideally cast and give the film its platform.  Things fall away quickly after that.  Most of dialogue between Dr. Evil and his son Scotty, which was so funny in the first two films, is flat.  Rather than mock the cliches that riddle current flicks, the film gets bogged down with silly characters like Fat Bastard, Mini-Me and of course, Goldmember.

So is there another film in store?  I hope not but if money dictates Hollywood (which um, it does), then there sure will be.  Only this time, I won’t be as enthusastic to see it on opening night. 

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 05 September 2002

On arriving in the quiet town, Will is greeted by the starstruck local detective Ellie Burr (Swank).  She has idolised his work and even wrote her thesis on his investigation of a series of famous L.A. murders.  Will’s knowledge quickly exposes the inexperience of the Nightmute police force.  Within 24 hours, he’s profiled the killer and set a cunning trap that could lure him out of hiding.

Working to perfection, the killer appears at the expected location but in a thick fog, he escapes.  Hunting him through the mist, Will shoots who he thinks is the suspect only to find he has shot and killed his own partner.  It is at this point where this otherwise simple thriller steps to a higher level.  Perceptions can be everything and whilst it was a legitimate accident, Will knows that this with a motive, this will look deliberate.

In a state of shock and panic, he tells everyone it was the unidentified suspect that shot his partner and using his expertise, crafts a quick cover-up.  There’s only one catch.  Will gets a phone call from writer Walter Finch (Williams) who confesses the crime but has an ace up his sleeve.  He saw Will kill his partner and has the evidence to prove it.  He promises to keep quiet if Will pins the crime on the innocent, but suspected, boyfriend of the victim.  And the plot only gets deeper...

Like another great Al Pacino film, Heat, Insomnia is the kind of film that keeps building and building.  There are no lulls but a steady increase in tension all the way through.  As I hinted at earlier, it begins simply enough but fresh layers are exposed and the line between black and white becomes very blurry.  Unlike most serial killer movies, it’s hard to identify who is the hero and who is the villain.

It’s a wonderful setting.  Being set during the summertime in Alaska, there is no night and Will cannot adjust.  He cannot sleep and with his insomnia increasing, his biggest adversary appears not to be Walter Finch but rather his own mind which is deteriorating from night after night of lost sleep.  It’s just another exciting element that will keep you entranced.  Trivia buffs will also note that Will’s surname, Dormer, is a play on the French and Spanish verb “dormir” which means “to sleep”.

The film is followed by much hype as it is director Christopher Nolan’s follow-up film to the cult hit Memento which starred Guy Pearce.  Unlike his previous film, Nolan didn’t write the screenplay for Insomnia.   It’s actually a remake of a Norwegian film of the same name made in 1997.  I haven’t seen the original but Nolan’s English adaptation is wonderfully filmed and capitalises on great acting, great editing and great music.  He’s one of the best in the business today.

Singling out Al Pacino, his performance is impressive.  I’m not sure if he “got into” his character by not sleep himself but you could see the changes in his appearances and feel the changes in his mind as each day passed.  It’s a great role and he’s well supported by a surprisingly good Hilary Swank who, in her first major role since her Oscar-winning turn in Boys Don’t Cry, dispels any nay-sayers.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 September 2002

Xander Cage (Diesel) is known simply as X and loves extreme sports and exposure.  He’s introduced to us when he steals the lavish car of a politician and drives it off a bridge.  He escapes via parachute and the whole sequence has been captured on video camera by X’s team to show on web casts around the world.

One person paying very close attention to X is Agent Augustus Gibbons (Jackson).  A secret organisation known as Anarchy 99 has been arousing suspicions in Prague.  They are becoming very wealthy and powerful and under leader Yorgi (Csokas), are rumoured to be developing biological weapons to destroy governments around the world.

With agent after agent being killed, Gibbons decides to try a different approach.  Why not try using someone with a criminal background?  Their hardened persona may be able to penetrate Anarchy 99 and get them on the inside.  X is Gibbons man and he convinces him to go with the threat of serving time behind bars for his wild stunts.

In Prague, the plan works perfectly.  X gets all the information he needs and Gibbons rewards him with freedom and a ticket home.  But of course, he’s fallen in love with a member of Anarchy 99, Yelena (Argento) and doesn’t want to leave her behind.  So despite his cover soon becoming blown, X stays behind to finish the job, blow up a bunch of stuff, and win the heart of Yelena.

There are a lot of amazing action sequences in XXX but they are too big for their own good.  The editing team has failed to make it gel and look sequential.  The quickly edited scenes are fragmented and I wasn’t buying a single minute of it.  The part still freshest in my mind is the hopelessly stupid scene where X rides his snowboard down the mountain followed closely by an avalanche.  Special effects are top-notch but everything else is substandard.

Vin Diesel isn’t a newcomer to Hollywood but you’d think he was with the wave of hype and publicity that has followed his every move in the past three months.  Diesel featured prominently in Saving Private Ryan, Pitch Black and the underrated Boiler Room before realising his true calling was for action.  After the huge success of last year’s The Fast And The Furious, XXX capitalises on his “action star” status and also sees him set to appear in sequels of both films.  A busy man he will be.

Did I mention that director Rob Cohen made both XXX and The Fast And The Furious?  He also made Daylight and Dragonheart.  As Diesel is an action star, Cohen is an action director that obviously has the experience but seems to be taking on more than he can chew.  People enjoy seeing outrageous stunts but if you wanna make a movie, you’ve gotta have a worthwhile story.  So with that said, this film gets a big X from me.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 05 September 2002

I went looking for the film’s official website but there isn’t one.  I guess the makers are doing everything they can to conceal their identify from the thousands of people who will see this film and then harass them asking for their money and time back.  That’s what I planned on doing anyway.

There’s about eight characters who get together and try to summon dead spirits with a Ouija board.  All in fun, they conjure up something very scary, which they later learn to be a powerful demon.  The only way the demon can return to its world is to kill those that brought him into this one and so the film goes from there...  Some get killed off early but others make it into the closing scenes for the final battle.

I knew none of the cast except for Lukas Haas, who is a prominent supporting actor in the United States.  I knew none of the crew.  Period.  It’s all a very lame production made straight out of a Hollywood textbook with every cliché imaginable.  Insulting really.

Only a handful of people were brave enough to take on this film.  I’ve never once walked out on a film but this is about as close as I’ve come.  I spent the last half-hour talking with the friend next to me about how bad a film could possibly be.  Boy it felt good to be out of there.  Long Time Dead may be the name of the film but it’s also how one would feel to be watching it.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 September 2002

Blue won the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival and earned 3 Golden Globe nominations, White won the Silver Berlin Bear at the Berlin Film Festival, but it’s Red that most people will be familiar with, if at all.  Red was nominated for 3 Academy Awards (including best director and best screenplay) and appears on the Internet Movie Database as the 161st most popular film of all time.

With the world at his feet Kieslowski suddenly announced his retirement from filmmaking.  His rest was short-lived as he suffered a cardiac arrest and passed away in March 1996.  All the more surprising is to see his name appear during the opening credits as a writer of Heaven.  Yes, before he died, Kieslowski wrote one final script which has taken six years to make it into production.

Directed by creative German director Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run), Heaven begins magnificently.  Cate Blanchett is Philippa Paccard, a school teacher with a vendetta against a high profile business executive, Marco Vendice, who is selling drugs to her 13-year-old students.  After repeated requests for help to the police, she takes the law into her own hands and plants a makeshift bomb in a rubbish bin in Vendice’s office.

Unfortunately, the bin is emptied moments before detonation and instead of Vendice meeting a quick demise, a cleaner, a father and two innocent children are killed.  Arrested soon after, Philippa is remorseful when being interrogated.  She knows she deserves to be punished for her wrongs but still holds an immense desire to destroy Vendice.

An opportunity arises when the young interpreter in the interrogation room, Filippo (Ribisi), falls instantly in love with Philippa.  His younger brother is taught by Philippa and Filippo hears nothing but good stories and knows she is a decent woman.  He devises a cunning plan to break Philippa out of jail so they can elope and foolishly he believes they will live happily ever after.

The wonderful opening hour is softened by a yawning finish.  After the breakout, the film wanders all over the place.  It becomes a tacky, strange love story and chemistry between Ribisi and Blanchett is hard to find.  Everytime the film looks set to end, it carries on a little further with more frivolous romance.  Blanchett is the standout of the cast but Ribisi is solid in an unusual role for him.

The direction from Tykwer is the primary reason to see Heaven.  The camera work is magnificent.  Tykwer moves his cameras slowly to appreciate more of the surroundings in a very artistic way.  Towards the closing, he uses helicopter flyovers with little-to-no sound to again show his mastery of the craft.

It’s refreshing to see every audience in the world except the United States have the opportunity to taste Heaven.  The film isn’t scheduled for release in the States until the first week of October and only this week is showing to many leading U.S. critics at the Toronto Film Festival.  Before being released in Oz, Heaven has already played in Austria, Russia, Sweden, Israel, The Philippines, Norway, Belgium, Mexico and the United Kingdom.  If nothing else, the film is one final chance to pay homage to the great work of Krzysztof Kieslowski.