Directed by: Nicole Holofcener
Written by: Nicole Holofcener
Starring: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, Owen Teague, Jeannie Berlin
Released: June 15, 2023
Grade: A-

You Hurt My Feelings

When is a “white lie” acceptable?  Does it depend on the closeness of the person you’re telling it to?  Should it matter if they’re a child or an adult?  Can you keep repeating the lie over time or does it reach a point of expiry?  All of these questions are at the heart of You Hurt My Feelings, an engaging, thought-provoking film from Oscar nominated screenwriter Nicole Holofcener (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep) stars as Beth, a middle-aged woman who recently published a childhood memoir which, to use the words of her own mother, “should have done better” in terms of sales.  She’s just finished the original draft of her next book, a fictional drama, which has received a lukewarm response from her editor.  The self-conscious Beth puts up a brave face but, as we see from a humorous rearranging that takes place in a bookstore, she’s a little shaken.

In an unfortunate moment that serves as the catalyst for the film’s drama, Beth spots her husband, Don (Menzies), in a clothing shop and overhears a conversation with his brother-in-law (Moayed).  He talks about not liking the draft of her new book – the complete opposite of what he’s said to her at home.  Beth is gutted by the revelation.  This is partly because Don doesn’t like the book and partly because Don hasn’t been honest with her.  She confides in her sister (Watkins) and starts taking out her frustrations on Don… without telling him exactly why.

Skilfully blending comedy and drama, You Hurt My Feelings has stuck with me.  Despite a run time of just 93 minutes, Holofcener has created a wonderful group of characters who illustrate both positive and negative traits.  There’ll be mix of views amongst audience members about how they are perceived.  You’d don’t have to like them all the time!  Holofcener provides more than enough material for us to laugh, judge, and laugh again.

As an example, Don is a demotivated therapist who has become so lethargic, he’s now forgetting patients’ histories while speaking with them.  Do we sympathise with Don because it’s a tough profession and it’s not easy to maintain one’s attention all day?  Or is he just really terrible at his job?  The same questions could be asked of Beth’s writing classes, or her sister’s “phoning it in” interior decorating skills.

Making the most of its New York City locale, You Hurt My Feelings is the winner you get when combining great actors with a great script.