Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid


Directed by: Dwight H. Little
Written by:John Claflin, Daniel Zelman, Michael Miner, Ed Neumeier
Starring: Johnny Messner, KaDee Strickland, Matthew Marsden, Nicholas Gonzalez, Eugene Byrd, Morris Chestnut
Released: October 7, 2004
Grade: C+

I can’t think of movie much less appealing than a sequel to a film I never cared for in the first place.  Anaconda was released back in 1997 and unfortunately for us all, it was mildly successful at the box-office.  

So what convoluted storyline have they come up with this time?  Well, a group of scientists in New York believe they have uncovered the secret to… the fountain of youth.  Sigh.  There are toxins in a flower known as the Blood Orchid which could dramatically slow the aging process.  Unfortunately for these scientists, the Blood Orchid can only be found in the jungles of Borneo and it’s only in bloom for three more weeks before it becomes dormant for another seven years.  Oh no!

In the midst of the rainy season, the group charter an old, rusty boat and head down river.  Most of them will be eaten by giant anacondas but if you’re like me, you won’t care less.  The only scene you’ll be looking forward is the fade to black just before the closing credits start rolling.

Too much time is wasting in developing this paper-thin plot.  I don’t think a person was killed until the 45 minute mark.  The group of writers (four in all) have tried to develop these characters but they needn’t have wasted their time.  Few will care and the fact that there’s not a well-known star amongst the cast is a sure sign that this junk should have been labelled “direct to video”.

With most studios holding their big releases until Christmas, October is usually a poor time of year to be heading to cinemas.  Once you’ve seen Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid, you’ll know why.