Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 July 2002

Christina (Diaz), Courtney (Applegate) and Jane (Blair) are successful young women living together in a fantastic apartment.  They love going out and teasing guys with their beauty.  But there’s a lack of commitment from them.  They have the power to get any guy they want but have broken away from many relationships for fear of getting too close.

Christina meets Peter (Jane) at a nightclub and they sense an instant connection.  Peter’s there celebrating his brother’s buck’s party and tells Christina to meet him back at the hotel room they’ve rented if she’s interested in hooking up.  As is always the case, she ums and arrs, decides not to and then regrets it later.  But she remembers that the wedding was being held in a nearby town called Sommerset and so she heads with Courtney on a quick road trip to find this man of her dreams and give it a go.

Don’t be fooled into thinking this film has something to say.  The above premise disguising the childish jokes that borrow heavily from films such as There’s Something About Mary and American Pie.  It’s directed by Roger Kimble who knows a thing or too about a racy flick having made the popular Cruel Intentions but this lacks the saucy sensuality of his first film.  These jokes are cheap.

There are a couple of redeeming scenes.  Midway during the film, Diaz and Applegate do a “movie montage” when whilst in a dress shop, wear some hilarious outfits made famous by films including Dumb & Dumber and Pretty Woman.  Even I had to laugh at that but as it’s the only gag worth talking about, you’re betting off renting the film on video and pressing the fast forward button for the rest of it.

With dialogue reminiscent of episodes from Sex And The City, the 90% female audience in my cinema shows who pretty clearly who the target market is.  Those guys that do show up won’t be doing so for the story - the numerous cleavage shots of all the female cast members will be enough to keep their eyes open.  Regardless of your sex, my advice is to give it a miss and find something else to do.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 July 2002

Smitten, Connie returns home to her husband of 11 years, Edward (Gere) and their young son Charlie.  They live a comfortable if not dull life.  Edward manages a successful business and Connie has a healthy reputation for organising charity fundraisers but the spark is missing in their relationship.

Initially, Connie returns to Paul’s apartment to thank him but she returns again and again.  The two begin a passionate affair and Connie loses all track of the world around her.  Edward senses a change in Connie and asks an old friend to follow his wife to confirm his suspicions.  Now that he knows for real, the question remains as to what can be done to rectify the situation...

From the director of Fatal Attraction and Indecent Proposal, Unfaithful is a sensual thriller that does begin slowly.  We all know the premise of the story and it’s easy to feel tired at the repetitive love scenes and encounters between Connie and Paul.  The film improves as it enters the unknown territory following Paul’s discovery of the affair.  I hope I’m not giving too much away in comparing the film to last year’s Oscar nominee In The Bedroom.  It’s a story about what lengths an ordinary person will go to protect their interests.

Diane Lane gives a marvellous performance.  She deserves her top billing over Richard Gere in the film’s credits.  There’s already talk of a possible Oscar nomination but there’s a long way to go yet.  We can feel her confusion and anxiousness.  She knows what she’s doing is wrong and repeatedly tries to pull away from Paul but the happiness he provides her continues to draw her in.  She senses trouble is brewing but this obsession now has complete control over her.

Richard Gere has the smaller role but plays it well with his sullen demeanour.  Providing the majority of the film’s jokes is Malcolm In The Middle’s youngest child, Erik Per Sullivan, as the son.  Adrian Lyne adds some nice touches with his directing - I particularly enjoyed the early scenes showing the wind sweeping through the New York streets.

We’ve been there before but Unfaithful relies upon its strong performances and direction to satisfy.  Many audience members will relate to and understand the forces driving Edward and Connie - it’ll provide food for thought.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 18 July 2002

If interested, the plot is as follows.  Ali G currently runs his own school for young kids and teaches them the ways of the world and how to “keep it real” - it’s like the boy scouts only with foul language and other adult themes.  When the government cuts off funding, Ali G begins a protest by chaining himself to a fence outside the office of the local government member.  Unfortunately, a rival gang makes fun of Ali and pulls down his pants before a blind council worker comes along and mistakenly cleans his “member” thinking it is a pole that needs cleaning.  Now do you understand the level of humour?

Anyway, this incident is seen by the deputy prime minister watching from across the street.  With an upcoming by-election, the prime minister has decided that with a dwindling vote, they need to find someone in touch with the youth of today to represent them at the election.  But the deputy intends to use this suggestion to his advantage.  Ali G will be perfect as he will disgrace the party, have the prime minister resign in shame and then as deputy, he will be promoted to the top job.

Of course it all goes wrong.  Ali G becomes a huge smash with the public and transforms parliament with his political incorrectness.  Did you expect anything else?

It’s just bland, uninspired comedy.   I chuckled a couple of times but the complete lack of intelligence wears thin very quickly.  Some more examples perhaps?  Ali G receives fellatio from his dog.  He pulls down the pants of the queen.  He has sex in the prime minister’s bedroom.  Let’s not forget the numerous homosexual gags and references that are thrown in.

He may be controversial but he doesn’t have enough material for a 90 minute feature.  Comedy is different for everyone though - there were people who liked Tom Green in Freddie Got Fingered despite the fact I thought it was a piece of trash.  Maybe there are similar people out there who like Ali G?  If you do, save me the trouble of an argument and keep it to yourself.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 July 2002

Blade (Snipes) is a cross-breed vampire/human.  His thirst for blood is controlled through special injections and his mission in life is to rid the world of those vampires preying on the human race.  But there’s been an unusual development.  A new species of vampires, known as reapers, has been developed that is far more savage than anything seen before - it feasts on the blood of both ordinary vampires and humans.

So an unusual compromise is reached.  The vampires approach Blade for him to join forces against these reapers.  After years of trying to kill each other, the two sides have been united.  It’s quite ironic that the vampire team that Blade has been given to work with is the same team that was created to hunt and kill Blade himself.

The battle then begins and it’s brutally, brutally violent.  I don’t believe in censorship but I do believe in classification - there are some films that shouldn’t be seen by younger audiences.  How can I describe how gruesome this film is?  The body count is monstrous and the methods disgusting.  I can’t even imagine how much fake blood was required.  In the very opening scene, a vampire sucks the face off a guy leaving a massive blood spray all over the wall.  I object to the fact that a 15-year-old in Australia can see the film.  An R-rating was deserved.  Especially since non-violent films featuring a little sex receive tougher judgment.

For those unwavering, it’s a strong film visually.  Directed by the revered Guillermo del Toro (Cronos, Mimic), it’s unrelenting action packed entertainment.  You don’t see a film like this and expect anything more so it delivers where it matters.  Wesley Snipes plays it cool and has some fun.  Kris Kristofferson seems miscast as his buddy but the vampires are the real stars.  The make-up team has done a wonderful job bringing them to life.

Let’s not overlook the special effects either.  The reapers are hideous creatures and can open their mouths very wide as a creature from within spurts from the mouth and sucks the blood of their prey.  It happens with such abundance during the film, you forget the novelty of the effect and it becomes a seamlessly real part of the story.  Quite stunning.

Released in the week of the Brisbane International Film Festival, it’s funny that I’m praising such a film in the same week as appreciating a wide range of original cinema from varied countries.  Cinema is all about providing entertainment and if a film about blood thirsty super-vampires is fun, then there’s no difference between it and a heartbreaking drama.  Films are there to be enjoyed.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 11 July 2002

This is a story about friendship.  Four guys who have grown up together, done it all and are now in the final years of their lives.  All from a quiet English town, they’ve been married (some happily and some not), fought in wars and slaved away to make a living.  But through thick and thin, they’ve always been there for each other and always had time to share a pint after work at the local pub.

Time finally catches up with one of them and Jack (Caine) learns he hasn’t long and soon passes away.  As his last orders, he’s asked for his ashes to be spread from the pier of a seaside town where he spent his honeymoon with wife Amy (Mirren) almost 50 years ago.  So Lucky (Hoskins), Lenny (Hemmings) and Vic (Courtenay) along with Jack’s son, Vince (Winstone) take an afternoon off and head to Margate to fulfil Jack’s final wish.

Along the way, each reflects back on precious memories and defining moments from their time with Jack.  Like the loss of any loved one, the reflection is mixed with feelings of the joy that Jack provided and the sadness that his warm personality will never again be felt.  The film is based on the lengthy Booker Prize winning novel by Graham Swift and yet Schepisi beautifully compresses 40 years worth of memories into a two hour film.

The film really is an amazing achievement.  Just look at the performances - all flawless.  It’s a who’s who of British actors.  Michael Caine, Tom Courtney, David Hemmings, Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren have all been appearing in cinema since the 1960s and they’ve mastered the craft.  Like their characters, they’re all in the twilight of their careers and are making sure their final impressions count.  They interact perfectly on screen with their seemingly casual improvised style.  It’s like you’re just watching a bunch of people talk in real life - there’s no Hollywood foreplay or cheesy dialogue.

The journey never tires.  The finale is perfect and doesn’t drag out nor milk our sentiments.  Tears will be shed but they’ll have been building up since the opening minutes.  There’s a subtle film score from Aussie Paul Grabowsky (Siam Sunset) and the sleepy English setting is immaculately captured by cinematographer Brian Tufano (Billy Elliot).

In recent years, there’s been a trend of British films succumbing to America’s commercial stylings.  In the last seven days, we’ve seen two vastly different examples of English filmmakers returning to what they do best - telling a great story.  Both Bend It Like Beckham and Last Orders are reasons why cinemagoers should ignore the marketing blitz surrounding blockbusters like Men In Black 2 and Scooby-Doo.  Great films are out there if you’re willing to open your eyes.