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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 April 2006

Viola (Bynes) is upset to hear that the women’s soccer program at her school has been canned due to a lack of interest.  She tries training with the men’s team but their coach objects strongly to the idea.  He thinks women are too slow and lack the physicality to play soccer at a high level.  So what does Viola do?  You wouldn’t believe me if I told you but I’m going to try anyway…

Viola’s twin brother, Sebastian (Kirk), is sneaking out of the house to go to London for two weeks.  He’s part of band which has been invited to play at a musical festival.  Their separated parents know nothing of this and Sebastian asks Viola to cover for him.  I’ve heard of sneaking out at night but how the hell do you get away with sneaking out for two weeks???

Anyway, Sebastian had recently enrolled at an upper-class boarding school which just so happens to have a top men’s soccer team.  Viola’s plan is to dress up as Sebastian, take his place at College and then make the men’s soccer team.  This will prove she’s as good as the boys.

Viola’s scheme starts unravelling when she meets her roommate, a “hunk” named Duke (Tatum).  She starts falling for Duke but of course she can’t reveal these feelings because he thinks she’s a guy.  To explain the other complications in this story, I’m going to steal the tagline from the film’s poster – “Duke wants Olivia who likes Sebastian who is really Viola whose brother is dating Monique so she hates Olivia who's with Duke to make Sebastian jealous who is really Viola who's crushing on Duke who thinks she's a guy…”  Confused?

When I walked out of this film, I didn’t know whether to give this film an average grade or the worst possible grade.  Amanda Bynes is horribly unconvincing when trying to look like a guy.  This fact, coupled with the far-fetched script, will some people thinking that this is as bad as cinema gets.  I won’t argue with them.

However, I believe the film is so bad, that it actually becomes good again.  Does that make any sense?  I was squirming in my seat whilst watching Bynes deliver her lines and that’s unusual for me.  When a movie is bad, I usually just sit silently in disgust.  She’s The Man got under my skin and I was entertained by its awfulness.  You’d think I was talking about an Ed Wood film!

Providing further hilarity was the review of the film on last Wednesday night’s episode of At The Movies on the ABC.  After Margaret Pomeranz gave it a positive review, David Stratton responded with “It's so puerile, Margaret. It is so awful”.  Margaret shot back with “Do you know, what does that say about me? Don't answer that question.”

The film is loosely based on the William Shakespeare play, Twelfth Night.  I say that as a passing comment because it should have no effect whatsoever on your decision to see this film.  All I can suggest is that you consult your doctor first to ensure there will be no mind-numbing side-effects.  Me finish now.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 05 April 2006

The setting is London in the not to distant future.  Terror has spread around the globe.  After a civil war broke out in the United States, the citizens of the UK elected a conservative government to keep them and their country safe.  Under the leadership of Prime Minister Adam Sutler (Hurt), this government has become somewhat of a dictatorship.  They have maintained their power by instilling fear in the population.  Those who don’t fit the mould of an ideal citizen are taken from their homes and never seen again.

On the 5^th of November, a masked man seizes control of a television studio and broadcasts a message to the world.  He identifies himself simply as V (Weaving).  He promises to blow-up the Palace of Westminster, home to the UK parliament, in exactly one year’s time.

This may sound like the threat of a terrorist but there’s something different about the mysterious V.  As the police investigate, they uncover ties to a secret government experiment at a psychiatric facility in Lockwood.  All records relating to the experiment have been destroyed and Detective Finch (Rea) is struggling to work out the connection with V’s actions.

Inadvertently drawn into V’s plans is a young officer worker named Evey (Portman).  The pair met by chance and became unlikely friends.  Evey’s parents were killed by the government when she as a child and her life has been one of adversity ever since.  She understands the mastery of V’s plan and realises that his threats are only part of a scheme and a story which goes much deeper…

The film’s subject matter is sure to attract controversy.  Written by the creators of The Matrix Trilogy, V For Vendetta will raise eyebrows in the way it seemingly promotes terrorism.  Some will find it distasteful but if you’re prepared to open up to it, the film has a lot to say about fear and its role in society today.  It scrutinises the power of governments and the media and puts them face-to-face with the power of the people.

Australian Hugo Weaving stars in what is a very unusual role.  You never get to see his face (only the mask) and his powerful presence is created simply by his slow-talking voice and his body language.  I believe the film achieves so much more by keeping the identity of this character hidden.  You aren’t judging him by his appearance but rather on what he has to say.

Natalie Portman is also superb in a performance which required her to shave her entire head.  You actually get to see this scene in the film as it happened (no special effects required).  It shows the courage that Portman has above other actress who wouldn’t dare approach such a role.

There are a few elements to the story that don’t work but on the whole, this is a great film with strong political views.  It reminded me very much of Fight Club (the 1999 flick with Brad Pitt and Edward Norton) and I’ll guarantee that few films this year will give you as much to think about.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 08 April 2006

The mammoth named Manny (Romano), the sloth named Sid (Leguizamo) and the tiger named Diego (Leary) have returned for another animated adventure.  This time, their Antarctic habitat is in danger of flooding due to the effects of global warming.  Tipped off by a “friendly” vulture, they begin a long march to find a boat which will take them to safety.  There is no time to waste.

On their journey, they meet another mammoth named Ellie (Latifah).  This is a huge relief for Manny who thought he might have been the last mammoth left.  Also joining them are two mischievous possums named Crash (Scott) and Eddie (Peck) who will have their own parts to play.

Intertwined throughout the film is a funny story about a squirrel trying to eat an acorn.  Have you seen the film’s trailer?  If so, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.  This unlucky squirrel is the best part of Ice Age: The Meltdown and generated the most vocal response from the kids and adults at the screening I attended.

The rest of the film is so-so.  There are a few jokes to chuckle over but the storyline doesn’t offer much in the way of interest.  Kids may see it differently but as a full-price paying adult (who wasn’t tempted to by a plush Ice Age toy at the ticket counter), I expected more from this big animated blockbuster.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 29 March 2006

Plenty of movies have been made about bank robberies and they have been told from differing perspectives.  A friend asked me before this movie about whether real bank robberies actually happen the way they do in the movies.  Are they usually that planned and precise?  Do they usually have expert police officers and detectives working the case?  The answer is probably no but few people seem to care.  These films may not be realistic but they’re damn fun to watch.

I love movies with intrigue and Inside Man delivers just that.  It begins with a man named Dalton Russell (Owen) telling the audience that he has committed the perfect bank robbery.  I was sceptical but certainly interested.  How did he pull it off and was it really a “perfect” robbery?  We are then treated to a visual retelling of the event…

Dalton and his team walk into the bank and set the wheels in motion.  They lock it down, take the people inside as hostages and then head to the main vault.  Meanwhile, Detective Keith Frazier (Washington) has been called in as the negotiator to work alongside Officer John Darius (Dafoe).  Frazier immediately senses something is different about this crime.  It appears to be very well planned and is clearly the work of professionals.  He can’t figure out their next move and this increases his worries that the situation and the lives of the hostages will get away from him.

Complicating things for Frazier is a mysterious woman named Madeline White (Foster) who has been hired by the bank’s owner (Plummer) to “protect his interests”.  There is something in the bank he doesn’t want discovered and he wants Madeline to keep a close eye on the escalating situation.

The pieces of the puzzle are slowly put together in a craftily written screenplay from newcomer Russell Gewirtz.  There is plenty of mystery and I’ll confess to picking the ending about two thirds of the way through.  I’m usually terrible at solving crime thrillers so I’m giving myself a pat of the back.  I think part of the reason I cracked the case is because it has been so well written.  There isn’t a farcical ending which is impossible for any sane person to pick.  The clues are there and it’s up to you to find them.  My only criticism is the final scene in the movie which I deemed unnecessarily.  The tale has been wrapped up a little too neatly and I would have preferred a few questions go unanswered.

The cast is one of the best of the year and all have a strong presence.  It’s great to see some acting outside their usual range.  We see Willem Dafoe playing a good guy and Jodie Foster playing a not-so-nice girl.  These attributes help differentiate the film from others in the genre.

Inside Man is the most commercial film we’ve seen from director Spike Lee (25^th Hour, Summer Of Sam, Do The Right Thing) is many years.  It’s also one of his best and I’m pretty confident you will think so too.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 06 April 2006

Al (Bradshaw) and Sue (Bates) want their son Tripp (McConaughey) out of the house.  He’s lived at home for over thirty years and they think it’s about time he found a place of his own.  Personally, I don’t know why they don’t just ask him to leave or simply kick him out?  Instead, they hire an interventionist named Paula (Parker) to persuade him.  She can’t have been cheap!

Paula’s plan is to simulate a relationship with Tripp.  This will give him self-confidence and will hopefully create a desire to move out and become more independent.  Paula admits that she has been successful with this technique many times before so I’d like to ask, what happened to the other guys?  Did she go out with them, lead them along, get them to move out, and then dump them for some made-up reason?  It’s awfully strange if you ask me.

Anyway, Tripp is going to prove a lot more challenging than Paula thought.  Firstly, he has a fear of commitment.  The idea of steady girlfriend (as opposed to a series of one night stands) is something he isn’t interested in.  Secondly and most importantly, Paula starts falling for Tripp and as the rule goes, you should never mix business and pleasure.

As you pay have picked up from my cynicism, there are a hundred things wrong with this premise.  If you stand back and look at the story from a distance, it doesn’t make much sense.  It is all structured around the predictable “boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl” formula.  Lovers of romantic comedies with disagree with my misgivings but I don’t care.  Surely they could have written a more believable tale?

The casting of Matthew McConaughey reminded me of his turn in the 2003 romantic comedy, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.  I was critical of that film too but I had many friends who disagreed and enjoyed the silliness of the story.

Failure To Launch isn’t as bad and I believe it’s due to the casting of Sarah Jessica Parker.  She’s good along McConaughey but she’s even better alongside Zooey Deschanel, who plays her sarcastic roommate in the movie.  This is the second time I’ve praised Parker this year (after The Family Stone) and it’s reaffirming my belief that she’s one of the best actresses of the moment.

I’ve seen worse but I’ve also seen many which are much better.