Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 06 December 2004

You’d be hard pressed to find a 2004 release with more sex or coarse language than in Team America: World Police.  Surprising considering the film doesn’t feature any actors – just marionettes hanging from obviously visible strings.  Then again, what else would you expect from the creators of South Park?

Team America are a group of elite fighters who are saving the world from terrorism.  Their last mission saw them eliminate four Iraqis who had intended to detonate a weapon of mass destruction in central Paris.  Team America did inadvertently destroy the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe and the Louvre but the world is safe once again!

Unfortunately, their heroism isn’t been appreciated by all.  Hollywood actors and others (Michael Moore included) are speaking out against Team America as they believe the world’s disputes can be resolved without violence.  Alec Baldwin is head of the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.) and has been invited by North Korean leader Kim Jong Il to speak at a major peace summit.  As they’ll soon learn though, you just can’t trust those North Koreans…

I am a big fan of American critic Roger Ebert who trashed this film in his review earlier this year.  In his own words – “I wasn’t offended by the movie’s content so much as by its nihilism.  It is neither for nor against the war on terrorism, just dedicated to ridiculing those who wage it and those who oppose it.”

Strange as it may seem, Ebert’s major criticism was one of the film’s most appealing aspects, at least in my eye.  I love how the film doesn’t seem to take a side and instead pays everyone out.  America receives a pasting for its thinking that it’s the “leader” of the world.  Then again, Hollywood celebrities also get grilled for thinking their celebrity status gives them the right to impose their political views on others.  Corporation bashers (such as myself) also come under fire and I can’t say that North Korean president or Hans Blitz of the United Nations will be too pleased either.

I see this film as a straight-out comedy.  It's funny because it’s shocking.  Sure writers Trey Parker and Matt Stone have something to say but they’re not trying to sugar coat it or hide their messages behind a guise.  They want people to laugh and their objective is achieved.  They mix their puppet action with the most creative songs I have heard for some time.  The song “America – F***, yeah!” is a reverberating highlight but the montage tribute to montages and the number comparing Ben Affleck’s acting ability to that of the horrors of Pearl Harbour also are to be remembered.

Director Trey Parker voices no less than 10 characters which is a fair effort since I never realised this until well after the movie.  I guess they had trouble finding Hollywood celebrities to help out (which comes as no surprising considering).  Their “Thunderbirds”-like puppets are comical in their own right and a monumental effort has been put into recreating some famous landmarks (in plastic form).

Sure to immensely entertain or horribly offend, Team America: World Police is unique animation targeted at a disenchanted world.  It’s gold!

P.S.  “Matt Damon”

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 26 November 2004

26-year-old Andrew Largeman (Braff) is an emotionless man with no direction.  Diagnosed with an anger management problem at an early age, Andrew has been on a mixture of strong medication ever since.  Living in Los Angeles and working as a small-time actor, Andrew’s world is “numb”.  He just does what he does.  Nothing provides any enjoyment.  Nothing provides any passion.

Lying in bed and staring blankly at the ceiling, Andrew receives a phone call from his father.  Growing up in New Jersey, Andrew’s relationship with his father was an uneasy one.  The two have seldom spoken since Andrew left home at the age of 16.  Having evading him for almost a decade, this is one phone call Andrew cannot leave unanswered…

Returning home for mother’s funeral, Andrew bumps into some childhood friends.  He decides to take a break from his medication (for better or worse) and agrees to stay in town for a few days to catch up and reminisce.  He also meets a talkative girl named Sam (Portman) after a humorous incident involving a randy dog in a doctor’s waiting room.  It may only be a brief visit but Andrew’s four days back in the Garden State will redefine his existence. 

The story behind Garden State makes it all the more interesting to watch.  Those that watch the entertainingly sarcastic television series Scrubs will recognise Zach Braff.  Not only does the 29-year-old Braff star in Garden State, he is also the man holding the script and the man behind the camera.  Drawing from his own experiences, Braff has broken through as a filmmaker.  On a budget of just $2.5m, his film created a big-time buzz at last year’s Sundance Film Festival.  Competing studios fought hard for the distribution rights with Fox Searchlight finally the knock-out bid.

Unlike many recent Hollywood efforts, this story features two leading characters who aren’t one-dimensional.  You always have a sense that Andrew and Sam are keeping certain parts of themselves from each other.  What we see on the surface isn’t always what lies beneath.  Such rich characters are a dream for any actor and I can understand why Natalie Portman was drawn to the project.  She delivers the film’s standout performance and after favouring more dramatic roles of late, it’s a pleasure to see her playing the fun-loving, effervescent Sam.

Whilst I have praise for him as an actor, Zach Braff isn’t as strong in the director’s chair.  I sensed the film was trying to be too cool with an array of slow-mo and fast-mo scenes.  Other parts were backed by a very loud soundtrack and felt more like a music video.  The best scenes are those where Braff lets the characters do the talking rather than the camera.

In a very weak year for big-budget Hollywood films, Garden State is the perfect refreshment to wipe that clichéd taste from your mouth.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 05 December 2004

Christmas is a time for giving so I’m going to “give” you all a piece of advice.  Forget about seeing Christmas With The Kranks.

We open at the airport with Luther and Nora Krank (Allen and Curtis) saying farewell to their daughter.  Blair has left home for the first time and plans to spend the next two years working in South America.

Struggling to come to grips with the quieter household, Luther has an idea.  Don’t ask me why but he kept all his receipts from the previous Christmas.  It seems they spent over $6,000 on parties, donations, hams, decorations and presents.  Instead of spending a similar amount on this year’s Christmas festivities, Luther convinces Nora to “skip” Christmas.  That’s right – no tree, no cards and no police officer’s calendar.  Instead, the money saved will pay for a Caribbean cruise.  After 23 years raising a daughter, they’ve earned it, right?

Not so say the neighbours.  When they don’t get their usual Krank Christmas party invite, they ain’t happy.  The local children are pissed too when Luther doesn’t erect his traditional 7-foot-tall blow-up Frosty atop his roof.

What I say to this tripe is “boo hoo”.  So what if they don’t want to celebrate Christmas?  Why should they be made to feel guilty for not wasting their money on over priced decorations and moochers coming to their door expecting a handout?  Just today I saw Australian treasurer Peter Costello urging parents to show constraint this Christmas in response to figures showing our record credit card debt.  Our own Prime Minster, John Howard, said "there's nothing better you can give your children, in fact all through the year, than love.”

The film takes a lame twist when the daughter calls on Christmas Eve morning with surprise news that she’s coming home.  Lo and behold, Luther and Nora give up their cruise, then go on a mercy dash across town trying to organise a gala party.  The neighbours even help out too – despite being complete assholes up until this point.

Was I supposed to feel happy walking out of this garbage?  Instead of a tingle down my spine, I felt a cold shiver.  And if you think the script is bad, wait till you see Jamie Lee Curtis in a bikini!

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 21 November 2004

There’s a legend that when someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage, they leave behind a curse.  This is the flimsy premise behind The Grudge, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar.  Those going to see Miss Gellar display her “talent” will be sorely disappointed.  She utters few words and looks rather disinterested (if you ask me).  Still, the film debuted at number one at the U.S. leaving many of the belief that Gellar is the new box-office draw.  I can only laugh.

Set in Japan, Gellar plays care worker Karen Davis.  Her latest assignment is to care for an elderly woman is a near comatose state.  On arriving at the house, an immediate shiver runs down Karen’s spine.  She hears strange sounds from within the walls and something just isn’t right.  Adding to the mystery is the fact that the previous care worker to visit the house has disappeared.

Looking upstairs, Karen makes a horrifying discovery.  When the police arrive to investigate, she learns there’s a history behind this particular residence.  Others have fallen victim and yet it cannot be logically explained.  A shaken Karen wants to know more but her life is now in increasing danger…

Based on a Japanese film of the same title, The Grudge is pathetically weak.  There’s a creaking noise which is supposed to be scary but I could only cringe at how often it was used and how unconvincing it sounded.  Director Takashi Shimizu tries to mess with us by using shadows, surprises and scary music but when you boil it down, this film is about nothing.  The only scary element was watching how many people paid to see it.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 27 November 2004

Earlier this week, I finished reading the best selling novel of 2004, Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code.  National Treasure an obvious rip-off and it makes no attempt to disguise this fact.  If you look in the newspaper, you’ll see advertisements comparing the film to Brown’s novel.

The Da Vinci Code this ain’t but it’s a fun adventure in its own right.  Ben Gates (Cage) has carried a guarded message which has been passed from generation to generation – “the secret lies with Charlotte”.  It’s a clue to a bountiful treasure which was hidden by Freemasons and the Knights Templar hundreds of years ago.  After years of searching, Ben and partner Ian Howe (Bean) have finally found Charlotte - she’s a boat buried beneath the artic ice.  Instead of treasure though, they find yet another clue and the quest is set to continue…

It boils down to an ancient document.  Ben believes there’s a treasure map, written in invisible ink, on the back of the Declaration of Independence.  Unfortunately, this is one of the most guarded pieces of American history and getting a look at the original document is no easy task.  Greed will become the overriding factor though when Ian defects and tries to take the glory for himself.  It’s now a race to see who can get their hands on the document first, and solve an ancient riddle…

Clichés are everywhere but it’s the humour of National Treasure which makes it worth a look.  Ben has two friends (played by Diane Kruger and Justin Bartha) who help him on his journey who come up with several funny one-liners.  The trailer for the film left me highly sceptical but thankfully for us all, the jokes are better in the main show.

If you’re looking for a little more substance though, you perhaps should hold out for the cinematic adaptation for The Da Vinci Code which is already in the works.