Welcome to the Film Pie! Brisbane based film critic Matt Toomey has reviewed thousands of movies since 1996. See what's out now, or browse the review archive.

The Vampire's Assistant (out now) is about a teenager who attends a freak show and winds up being turned into a "half vampire". He then becomes part of a vampire war where he must battle his best friend (who is also now a vampire). It's a pretty flimsy plot with not a lot of entertainment. Few jokes. Many characters underutilised. Poor. Grade: C.