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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 March 2006

The following is an extract from an imaginary interview between myself and Steve Martin.

Matt:     “Steve, thanks for joining us this evening.”

Steve:   “No worries, Matt.”

Matt:     “According to the Rotten Tomatoes website, only 20% of leading U.S. critics gave The Pink Panther a positive review.  What’s your feeling?”

Steve:   “Critics aren’t always right.  The public are the true judge of any movie.”

Matt:     “But according to the Internet Movie Database, the film has averaged only 4.7 out of 10 based on over 3,000 votes from the public.  What do you say to that?”

Steve:   “That’s distorted by fans of the old Pink Panther movies who realised this wasn’t as good and gave it only 1 out of 10.  The strong box-office figure shows what the public really think.”

Matt:     “Are you referring to the film’s $70m take so far?  I wouldn’t call that too satisfying when the film cost an unexplainable $80m to make.  Cheaper By The Dozen and Bringing Down The House made twice as much.”

Steve:   “Look, I see what you’re trying to do.  You’re trying to big note yourself by getting me to admit that the film is garbage.”

Matt:     “I don’t need you to admit it.  The film is garbage.  All the best jokes are given away in the trailer and the only scene I can remember laughing in was the one with you and the dialect coach.”

Steve:   “You have to admit that was a good scene.”

Matt:     “Ok, I will.  But 2 minutes of entertainment and 91 minutes of farcical nonsense isn’t what I paid money to see.  Do you read the script before signing on?”

Steve:   “Don’t insult me.  I wrote the screenplay with my friend Len Blum.  He’s written some other great films such as Howard Stern’s Private Parts, Beethoven’s 2^nd and Meatballs 3.  We did some good work on this film.”

Matt:     “Is there any reason why the film was pulled from the American summer schedule last year to be released at this notoriously dead time of the year?”

Steve:   “Don’t you read the papers?  Last June, Sony told everyone that the release was delayed for 6 months because they ‘wanted to give our marketing department the time and opportunity to launch this very important franchise.’”

Matt:     “That’s right, I remember that.  I’m surprised Sony couldn’t come up with a better excuse.  It’s pretty weak if you ask me.”

Steve:   “I don’t have to sit here and take this.”

Matt:     “Sorry Steve.  I’m just disappointed that you’d star in such a dismal movie when I remember you so fondly from more adventurous comedies such as Parenthood, L.A. Story and The Jerk.”

Steve:   “That’s your opinion and whilst I respect it, I’m not going to sit here and rubbish my own film.”

Matt:     “Well I will.  The Pink Panther is a joke and easily one of the worst comedies of 2006.  Steve Martin, thanks again for joining us.”

Steve:   “F*** you.”

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 26 February 2006

Chris Wilton (Meyers) is a talented tennis player who tried by the professional circuit but couldn’t match it with the world’s best.  He retired a young age, moved to London and took a position as a tennis coach at an exclusive club.

Through the club, Chris becomes friends with the wealthy Hewett family.  Alec (Cox) and Eleanor (Wilton) live in a lavish mansion on a large English estate.  Their daughter Chloe (Mortimer) is looking for a suitor and wants desperately to have children.

Chris quickly becomes attracted to their lifestyle as thinks Chloe is “sweet”.  He begins a courtship of which Chloe is more than willing.  The fact that her dad is prepared to offer him a steady job at his financial firm makes the possibility of marriage all the more tempting.

There is one catch.  Chloe’s brother, Tom (Goode), is engaged to an aspiring American actress named Nola (Johansson).  Chris is completely smitten with Nola and can’t keep these feelings hidden.  He looks for any excuse to spend time with her and Nola is happy to play along.  It’s risky business.

My overview has been kept brief because there are important twists to the story which shouldn’t be spoiled.  It’s a rich story, filled with dislikeable self-absorbed characters.  Judging from a few of the disappointed responses at my screening, there are some who won’t enjoy it.  Those expecting a light-hearted romantic comedy filled with loveable people will be sorely disappointed.

I love the darkness to the story and it’s no wonder that critics are calling it the best Woody Allen movie in years.  The subject matter is a departure from his previous works but Allen’s distinctive style can still be found throughout the film.  With its simple opening titles, ancient soundtrack and subtle messages, Match Point will be appreciated by all fans of this great filmmaker.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Bend It Like Beckham) and Scarlett Johansson (Lost In Translation) deliver two wonderful performances.  You wouldn’t even think there was a script when you see how simply and spontaneously they deliver their dialogue.

At the start of the film, Chris tell us that “a man who said I’d rather be lucky than good, saw deeply into life.”  When you see what follows, you’ll understand that they are prophetic words indeed.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 04 March 2006

Hustle & Flow follows in the footsteps of 8 Mile and Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ by focusing on one man’s dream to rise from the slums and make himself as a musician.  An average day in the life of Djay (Howard) sees him selling drugs and pimping friend Nola (Manning) as she prostitutes herself on the streets of Memphis.

With a little luck, Djay gets the chance to turn his life around.  He bumps into old school friend named Key (Anderson) at a convenience store and together, they decide to put a demo tape together.  Key has the recording equipment and Djay has the lyrics and the voice to pull it off.  Both of them see it as their chance to find fame and fortune.

Hustle & Flow was written and directed by young director Craig Brewer.  His initial script was good enough to attract the attention of acclaimed director John Singleton (Boyz In The Hood, 2 Fast 2 Furious) who put up his own money to see the film produced.  His faith in the story was rewarded when it went on to win the audience award at the Sundance Film Festival, which celebrates independent cinemas, in 2005.  Previous winners of this award have included The Station Agent and Hedwig & The Angry Inch.

The film’s best quality is the wonderful performance given from Terrace Howard who could be considered the most impressive actor of the last 12 months after his roles in Ray, Crash and Four Brothers.  He received a well deserved Academy Award nomination for best actor for his performance in Hustle & Flow.  The film has also been nominated for best song.  I still can’t get Three 6 Mafia’s song “It’s Hard Out There For a Pimp” out of my mind.  Don’t you just hate that?

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 19 February 2006

In 1959, an article in a newspaper caught the attention of 35-year-old writer Truman Capote (Hoffman).  It was about the murder of a family in Halcomb, Kansas and it gave him the inspiration for an article.  He would write about what effect such a tragedy has a small, tight-knit community.

Truman had the reputation of being a gifted writer.  His last novel, Breakfast At Tiffany’s, had just been made into a successful motion picture.  He was also known as an illustrious socialite.  He mingled with Hollywood’s brightest stars and hosted get-togethers at his home.  Many of his celebrity tales were bogus but Truman’s knack for telling for a good story endeared him to almost everyone.

Truman travelled to Halcomb and started researching his article with childhood friend Harper Lee (Keener).  Lee had just finished her own novel (To Kill A Mockingbird) and would soon receive word that it was to be published.  The pair interviewed citizens of Halcomb and developed a close relationship with the chief investigator, Alvin Dewey (Cooper).  Truman realised this story couldn’t be told in a simple magazine article.  He told his editor that he will instead be writing “the non-fiction book of the decade”.

Two months after the killings, Perry Smith (Collins) and Richard Hickcock (Pellegrino) were arrested for the crime.  Truman arranged for continual access to the two men and wanted to get inside their heads.  The inner thoughts of a killer would make for a fascinating read.  What Truman didn’t expect was that the killers would get inside his head…

There is so much to this story and I think of it as one of the great character studies I have ever seen on screen.  A friendship develops between Capote and Smith but in the back of their minds, they know it’s a friendship they’d sacrifice for their own benefit.  I don’t know you show this but Philip Seymour Hoffman and Clifton Collins Jr manage to do so with their stunning performances.  Hoffman deserves all the praise he his receiving but I wish Collins would receive similar attention.  How he was overlooked for an Oscar nomination is beyond me.

As you may have picked up, Capote isn’t a simple biography of Truman’s life nor is a retelling of the killings in Halcomb.  It’s an insight into a man whose mind has become twisted with conflicting thoughts.  If you’re interested more by the crime, you might want to read Capote’s book, titled In Cold Blood, or see the 1967 movie (starring Robert Blake) of the same name.

Capote has been nominated for five Academy Award including nods for best picture, Bennett Miller for best director and Dan Futterman for best adapted screenplay.  You may remember Futterman as he played Val, the straight son of Nathan Lane and Robin Williams in The Birdcage.  The guy can act and write!

Truman Capote may not have approved of this film but I certainly do.  It’s one of this year’s best.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 28 February 2006

Firewall is like non-fat yoghurt.  Anything which might make it enjoyable has been removed.  If it didn’t star Harrison Ford, you’d be sure it was a B-grade “direct to video” release.

Films about cyber-crime are hard to make attractive.  Take Swordfish as example.  Not even Halle’s “berries” could save it from a critical savaging.  The central character is Firewall is Jack Stanfield (Ford), an IT security guru at a large bank.  To introduce him, we see Jack help a colleague stop an online hacker from cracking into their bank accounts.  He uses cool techno jargon which leads us to believe that he’s one experienced guy.  Don’t ask me what it all means.

The thrills soon begin when Jack and his family are taken hostage in their own home.  The ringleader of the operation is Bill Cox (Bettany) and he has a very specific plan for Jack.  If he wants to see his family live, Jack must crack into his accounts of his bank’s largest clients and transfer a total of $100m to Bill’s secret off-shore bank account.

Jack doesn’t want to co-operate and he tries to pull a few tricks from his sleeve.  None of them work and if you ask me, they don’t make much sense.  He’s putting his own family at extreme risk and I’m surprised he’d take so many chances.  Why not let them steal the money, lodge an insurance claim and then let the authorities search for them?  Perhaps he thinks he’ll be killed regardless of what he does but I still think his actions contradict the kind of man he is.

There’s a scene late in the film where Jack loses his family and then thinks of a “creative” way of locating them.  I won’t give it away but so moronic was this moment, the audience in my cinema were both laughing and murmuring.  I kept my mouth shut and simply rolled my eyes.  It got no better after that.

Harrison Ford is showing his age and his tired, monotonous voice reminded me of his disappointing appearance in Hollywood Homicide (with Josh Hartnett).  Statisticians consider him the most successful actor of all time (based on box-office).  You’d think that with such a reputation, he (or his agent) could find better scripts.  I guess not.