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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 19 June 2005

I happily thought I’d seen the last of the Batman movies after the release of 1997’s Batman & Robin.  With Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone, it was a truly pathetic movie.  Hands up anyone who liked this?  Hands up anyone who can actually remember what it was about?

I was sceptical about a new Batman movie but not any more!  Batman Begins is on a par with the new Spider Man series as the best comic book movie of the past 10 years.  There are a number of reasons why this is the case so it’s time to give them their fair dues…

Christian Bale.  He’s one of those brilliant actors who keeps slipping under the radar.  I will not forget him when it comes time to publish a new list of my favourite actors.  His performance as a 13-year-old in Steven Spielberg’s Empire Of The Sun remains one of the finest acting jobs ever by a child.  His signature role to date would have to be as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.  Bale’s performance in Batman Begins is brilliant.  He’s dark and void of emotion.  And I love the slow, deliberate way in which he delivers his dialogue – it seems so humorously blasé.

The supporting cast.  I defy you to find a bigger name supporting cast in a 2005 release.  Gary Oldman plays a rare good-guy.  Liam Neeson plays a rare bad-guy.  It’s great when you see top-name actors tackle a role that contradicts what you’d usually expect from them.  Recent Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman (Million Dollar Baby) is also in the mix along with two top British actors – Tom Wilkinson (In The Bedroom) and one of the best actors under 30 going around today, Cillian Murphy (28 Days Later).   The pick of the bunch though is Michael Caine who exudes class at all times.  Every single line he has is a gem.

Christopher Nolan.  You may not know the writer-director by name but you will know him by reputation.  Nolan has only made two major films and I’ve considered both worth of an A grade.  First was 2000’s Memento with Guy Pearce (considered the 22^nd greatest film of all time according to the Internet Movie Database) and 2002’ Insomnia with Al Pacino and Robin Williams.  The 35-year-old Nolan is a true original and all of this films take you on an unexpected journey.

I haven’t spoken much of the story but you should know what to expect.  Our caped crusader battles to save the citizens of Gotham City from an evil villain.  What might catch you off guard is the story’s depth.  The opening hour looks at how Batman came to be and the second hour shows what Batman is capable of.  It’s a great balance of drama and action that stays true to the essence of the comic book.  Aside from an unnecessary scene at the very end there is thankfully no reference to any of the other four mainstream Batman flicks.

There hasn’t been a lot of publicity for the film which may have contributed to my liking for it – sometimes the best movies are those you enjoy without expectation.  The media seems to be focusing more on the love interests of Katie Holmes-Cruise, who plays a small part in the film.  Well, I send my congratulations to Ms Holmes on her recent engagement to Tom Cruise.  I hope it helps her land more roles because her performance here isn’t going to.  Her over-the-top innocence and annoying voice keeps the film from reaching near-perfection.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 June 2005

If your husband/wife was a secret agent would you know?  Well that’s the case for both John Smith (Pitt) and Jane Smith (Jolie), if that is their real names.  They’ve been married for “five or six years” and have managed to hide their true occupation from their partner.  I surprised they weren’t more suspicious with all the inter-state conferences and rumblings in the middle of the night.

Their cover is about to be blown however when they are each assigned the same target, a young kid by the name of Benjamin Diaz (Brody).  John and Jane’s relationship was already a little rocky but now it’s about to get outright nasty.  Each thinks that they have been secretly used by the other to obtain classified information.  Now it’s personal!

If Mr & Mrs Smith is a comedy, then it’s quite funny.  There are some humorous scenes that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt share with a therapist.  There are also some funny lines from a fellow agent named Eddie (played by Vince Vaughn).  I’m not usually a fan of either Pitt or Jolie but they unexpectedly work well together as a comedic duo.  Their sarcasm is spot on.

If Mr & Mrs Smith is an action flick, you’ll be sorely disappointed.  There is one scene where Pitt and Jolie are fired upon a hundred times and are uninjured.  Yet when they remove their bullet proof vests, it is littered with bullet marks.  How did every bullet manage to hit them in the chest but not anywhere else?  Further more, there’s a scene in which Pitt and Jolie fire at each other with huge bazookas and other explosive devises.  They are clearly trying to kill each other which is why it’s such a cop-out when the two come face to face with a pistol and don’t have the “heart” to kill one another.

I also have a problem with the underlying premise behind this adventure.  The two agencies want Mr & Mrs Smith killed because they have just realised they are married and think they could inadvertently spill information to the other.  Firstly, what kind of dodgy background checks are they doing?  Secondly, why are the two agencies working together to kill them?  Doesn’t this contradict why they want them eliminated in the first place?

The limitations in the screenplay are off set by the good direction from Doug Liman.  If you don’t know of him, Liman is a great director.  He’s got style and his film’s always have a fresh, fast look to them.  Many will have seen his last effort, The Bourne Identity, but my own favourite was 1999’s Go.  Liman also directed the very first episode of TV’s teen drama The O.C.  Fans of that show will enjoy the funny cameo in Mr & Mrs Smith of the witty Adam Brody.

I’ve had two people point out how much bus stop advertising there has been for this film.  Posters are everywhere and 20^th Century Fox are expecting big things.  It’s slightly better than your average Hollywood summer blockbuster but that’s as positive of an endorsement as I’m prepared to give.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 15 June 2005

Samuel Bicke (Penn) is a simple but troubled man who can’t find the life he is searching for.  His wife Marie (Watts) left him and took custody of their three children.  Sam has the deluded belief that he will be able to patch things up with Marie but her actions suggest otherwise.  His persistence is only pushing Marie further away.

Sam’s also struggling to make the most of his new job as an office furniture salesman.  He doesn’t belong there and the idea of lying to customers to make a sale is something that doesn’t sit well with him.  His boss (Thompson) is also frustrated by Sam’s inability to put his strict morals aside and make a sale.

Determined to do things his own way, Sam tries to go into business with a friend (Cheadle) selling tyres.  He applies for a bank loan to get things started but it’s going to be at least six weeks before the loan application can be processed.  It’s an eternity for Sam who needs the money now.  He no longer has the patience to put up with his current job and the continual rejections from his wife.  Something has to give… and it does.

The Assassination Of Richard Nixon reminded me very much of Falling Down with Michael Douglas.  It’s the story of a man who is acting outside the parameters of normality but doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions.  In the leading role, Sean Penn’s performance is superb and despite his character’s wrong actions, you will feel sympathetic and understanding of the forces which drive him.  Australian is well represented with Naomi Watts and a great showing from Jack Thompson (who I haven’t on the big screen much of late).

There’s an interesting quib about The Assassination of Richard Nixon at the Internet Movie Database website.  The film was initially conceived as a work of fiction but whilst researching, they learned that a similar situation had once occurred.  The final product is a compelling movie which mixes both truth and fiction.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 08 June 2005

“Oh everything's stolen nowdays. Why the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.” – Grandpa Simpson

In a movie theatre a few backs, I saw the rather pathetic trailer for The Longest Yard.  My friend was rather vocal in his opinions – openly declaring it a stupid American rip-off of the 2001 English soccer film Mean Machine.  Well it turns out that Mean Machine was actually a remake of a 1974 film called The Longest Yard.  The bottom line is that this screenplay has now been made into a film three times.  That alone is a shocking thought and it only adds to the theory that there isn’t a single new idea floating around in Hollywood.

Adam Sandler stars as Paul Crewe, a retired pro-footballer who has now become a drunk.  After a few beers one night, Paul takes his wife’s keys and crashes the car into about 10 police vehicles after a lengthy, televised police chase.  Let me pause here to point out that Paul’s wife is played by Courtney Cox of Friends fame.  She’s in the film for about 2 minutes and is not seen again after this opening.  Why?

It seems a bit harsh but Paul is sentenced to three years jail for his indiscretion.  Warden Hazen (Cromwell) has asked that Paul be assigned to his penitentiary so that he can impart his football knowledge on his own team (consisting of the prison guards).  Paul suggests that the guards play a pre-season warm up game against the inmates as a training drill.  The Warden thinks it’s a great idea but so do to the inmates.  It’s their chance to finally get back at them.  This is going to be a very, very physical encounter.

This joke a script gets worse as it goes along.  One of the characters is killed in ridiculous fashion and I’m surprised they tried to squeeze such a sombre moment into a film which is predominantly a “comedy”.  After this point, his death is used as motivation in the big game which is televised nationally by ESPN and attended by a crowd of many thousands.  Does this make a lick of sense?

The film has been produced by Happy Madison Productions, the same company which made 50 First Dates, Anger Management, The Hot Chick, The Animal, Mr. Deeds, Little Nicky and Deuce Bigalow.  As you can see, the company has been set up to fund the works of Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider (who makes another cameo here).  To have made as many films as they have, the company must be quite profitable.  If you ask me though, they’re films are getting worse and worse.  Anger Management and now The Longest Yard are right at the bottom of the barrel.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 14 June 2005

Each year, there’s always some hyped-up television show that grabs a big audience in its first season.  This year’s examples would have to be Lost and Desperate Housewives.  People make sure they’re home so they never miss an episode.

As the show ages though, the writers start running out of ideas and the audience dries up.  It becomes one of those shows you’ll watch if there’s nothing else on.  It’s unlikely though because you’ve probably transfixed by the latest sitcom / reality show emanating from the States.

I use this analogy because it best sums up my feelings regarding computer animated movies.  I’ve said this before but when the concept was fresh and new, there were some really great animated flicks.  I speak of films such as Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Antz, Chicken Run and A Bug’s Life.

Nowadays, the well has dried up.  Talented computer technicians are working overtime to churn them out but the writers have gone on permanent vacation.  What’s annoying is that I understand why they have become so slack.  Just let me humour you for a moment…

Every school holidays there is usually one big animated blockbuster.  If kids are old enough to understand, they’ll see one of the ten thousand television advertisements and nag their parents to take them.  If they’re not old enough, the parents will see these same ads and take the kids along to get them out of the house.  My point is that it doesn’t make a difference whether the film’s any good or not.  The kids are going to roll up and down the aisle (as they did in my cinema) or yell a lot.  The adults will try to keep the kids under the control or otherwise sit there looking disinterested.

Now I could review this from the point of view of a 6-year-old.  If so, I’d be saying “yaaaaaay” and spilling coke and popcorn all over the place whilst constantly kicking the seat in front of me.  Unfortunately for us all, my brain is more developed.  What I see on screen is a very limited screenplay.  It’s a 15 minute concept which Dreamworks have foolishly tried to extend into a full length motion picture.

The flimsy premise is that four animals at New York’s Central Park Zoo try to escape.  They are a lion (Stiller), a zebra (Rock), a giraffe (Schwimmer) and a hippo (Smith).  They are captured and shipped off to Africa.  Their boat though is hijacked by a quartet of killer penguins and they end up being washed up on a strange beach.  After a short freak out, they befriend an army of lemurs, do some bonding and live happily ever after.  I’m sure there’s a message in there somewhere too.  The only time I laughed was the short scene where the penguins arrive at Antarctica.

With the exception of The Incredibles, the focus of animation is now marketing over substance.  Kids may be still having a good time but there’s less and less intelligent humour for adults.  We deserve better.