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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 March 2005

If you’re there for the opening credits, you’ll see the “Walt Disney Pictures” logo before the opening credits start rolling.  It should therefore come as no surprise to see that The Pacifier is one of the most unoriginal films of 2005.  Every plot development seems borrowed/stolen from another film.  Think Kindergarten Cop.  Think Daddy Day Care.  Think Home Alone.

Vin Diesel plays Shane Wolfe, a top-notch Navy SEAL.  To introduce us to Wolfe, the film takes on a daring rescue mission where he kills the enemy and rescues a renowned scientist, Dr Howard Plummer.  I guess the movie gets away with a PG rating because those being killed were the “Serbian rebels” and the camera lens avoids any of the actual killings.  On completing the assignment, Wolfe makes one error in judgement in letting Dr Plummer call his wife and kids to let them know he’s ok.  Unfortunately, they are then set upon by more attackers and that’s all we get to see.

We then skip Wolfe’s rehabilitation in hospital and rejoin the story to see his release.  Dr Plummer was killed and Wolfe learns why they were after him.  The good doctor was working on a top secret computer program which assist the U.S. military but could be deadly in the wrong hands.  Unfortunately for the Serbians, they did not find anything in the suitcase that Dr Plummer was carrying at the time.

The wife of Dr Plummer, Julie (Ford), receives word that her late husband had a safety deposit box with a Swiss bank.  Thinking this may hold the answers to the project, she travels to Switzerland under the close watch of an army captain.

This ridiculous series of events finally sets the crux of film.  Wolfe has to guard Mrs Plummer’s children while she’s overseas.  Here’s just a sample of the questions I had at this point.  Why was he picked as the right man for this job?  Why was he assigned this position with absolutely no back up?  How did he assemble all his alarms and gizmos in no time at all?  Why weren’t these kids being protected during the 2 months whilst Wolfe was in hospital?

What happens is exactly as you’d expect.  The five children hate Wolfe and don’t react well to his authority.  They set booby-traps for him, try to sneak out of the house and even throw a wild party.  Wolfe doesn’t want to be there either since he has no kids, cares little for them and can’t even change a diaper.  Lo and behold, the two weeks they spend together changes their lives.  Oh yes, and wait till you see who’s responsible for the final attack – it’s those damn North Koreans!  Sigh.

It’s a strange career choice for Vin Diesel but at least he’s making an effort to break away from his action-hero stereotype.  He gets a few laughs but don’t expect much.  For Everybody Loves Raymond star Brad Garrett, the death bells are ringing on his cinematic career.  As the vice principal of the school the Plummer children attend, his character was as bad as it gets.

Kids will surely get a laugh out of The Pacifier.  Adults won’t be quite as lucky.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 20 March 2005

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou marks the third time that Bill Murray has worked with writer-director Wes Anderson and I couldn’t be happier.  He may have only made four films to date but Anderson has developed a true cult following.  If you like your comedies a little bit different it’s time that you too discover just how talented he is.

As for Bill Murray, I’ve been a fan since seeing Caddyshack and Ghostbusters at a very early age.  He has the knack for being hilariously funny whilst keeping a dead serious look on his face.  He would certainly be one of the top 10 comedic actors of the modern era.  Murray first worked with Anderson in 1998’s Rushmore.  This dark comedy about an over-achieving student and a disenchanted teacher fighting for the affection of a lady earned Murray several critics awards.  See it if you haven’t already.

The Life Aquatic centres on fictitious oceanographer and documentary filmmaker Steve Zissou (Murray).  His latest project is to go in search of a tiger shark which killed his best friend and colleague Bill Ubell.  When asked the scientific purpose of this journey at a media conference, Steve is blunt in saying “revenge”.

Unfortunately for Steve, his documentaries have not been a major success financially and he’s struggling to find money for this new venture.  That’s all about to change when a young pilot by the name of Ned Plimpton (Wilson) introduces himself.  Ned’s mother recently passed away and he has come is search of the father he has never met… Steve Zissou!  Steve hates children and never knew he had any but takes Ned and his inheritance money under his wing.  A bond develops a Ned soon becomes a valuable members of “Team Zissou”.

There are more characters to throw into the mix.  Steve’s wife Eleanor (Huston) is tiring of Steve’s adventures and is looking for a life of her own.  Reporter Jane Winslett-Richardson (Blanchett) is writing a magazine cover story on Steve and is not afraid to ask the tough questions.  Don’t forget Steve’s main rival, Alistair Hennessey (Goldblum), who’s always looking to trump him on any major discovery.

It’s an insane bunch of characters in a hard to describe adventure but it all adds up to great comedy.  I laughed a hell of a lot but I can’t make that guarantee for all.  Like any comedy, what some people find funny, others find innately boring.  The fact that this film is screening in only one cinema in Brisbane (the Palace Centro) tells us that the major multiplexes believe it’s too quirky to attract a decent size audience.

The performances of the cast and wonderful and it’s one of the best ensembles of the year.  Even the smaller characters (such as the interns) manage to be funny without saying a word.  It all revolves around Bill Murray though and he’s at his finest here.  He brings out the best in everyone and how the others keep a straight face I do not know.

It’s a tricky title to remember by The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou could well be the comedy of the year.  There’s only one way to see if what I’m saying is true and that’s to get out there and see it!

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 22 March 2005

Of an afternoon, you can be sure to catch at least one low-budget Aussie series aimed at a teen audience.  I can remember watching them after school and you could also catch them early on Saturday morning.  They defined the term “cheesy”.  The storylines were often farcical and the young actors delivered their lines as if they’d never rehearsed them.  In hindsight, they were fun to watch but they certainly weren’t going to win any awards.

Hating Alison Ashley reminds me of such shows.  The characters and setting are over-the-top and it all looks second-rate.  Just seeing Craig McLachlan in a patheticly unfunny supporting role is proof enough.  Unless you’re a girl under the age of 15 or a fan of Robin Klein’s novel, this film ain’t for you.

Alison Ashely (Goodrem) arrives as a new student at Barringa East High School.  Almost immediately, she’s become the mortal enemy of Erica Yurken (Burmeister).  She may not have many friends but Erica’s good grades have ensured she’s got want she wants – the mantle as the teacher’s pet.  Alison’s arrival however marks a changing of the guard.  Alison’s got the brains and the looks and she’s innocently worming her way into the teacher’s hearts.

This will not stand for Erica.  Nor will the fact that Alison is winning of the heart of the school bad-boy Barry Hollis (Cappelli).  Something has to be done but Erica won’t be getting any help from her eccentric family.  Her younger sister is always pretending to be a horse and her older sister has become a major bitch who won’t let anyone in her room.

I don’t what to think of Saskia Burmeister in the leading role.  She is so incredibly annoying and every time she spoke, I felt like throwing something at the screen.  Then again, I think this is what her immature character is all about so she’s probably done quiet a good job.  Her resume is ideal too having appeared in one of those cheesy Aussie shows – a series in 2003 known as Wicked Science.  I must have missed that one.  Cough, cough. 

Hating Alison Ashley is probably the most well known Australian film of the past two years.  There’s been a heavy advertising campaign to take advantage of the high-profile status of singer Delta Goodrem.  Those expecting Delta to shine will be disappointed as she is largely in the background and doesn’t seem to say or do much.  The hoping for a revival in the Australian film industry might also be disappointed.  In my Monday night screening during the film’s first week, I was one of only two patrons.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 13 March 2005

Released way back in 1995, Get Shorty was a great comedy with a stellar cast.  As the sequel, Be Cool has an equally strong cast but the comedy just isn’t the same.  Everything seems hit and miss.  For every good joke, there’s a bad one.  For every great scene, there’s an average one.  For every amusing cast member, there’s a dull one.  The result is a film which should have been better and makes you appreciate the wit of Get Shorty.

This time around, former gangster Chili Palmer (Travolta) has decided to quit the movie business.  It’s time for something new and having stumbled across talented singer Linda Moon (Millan), he wants to delve into the music industry.  The transition isn’t as easy as Chili had hoped.  Linda’s contract is currently held by manager Nick Carr (Keitel) who has no intention to release her.  Further, Chili’s late friend Tommy Athens was just murdered and music manager Sin LaSalle wants Chili to make good on the $300,000 that Tommy owed him.  Oh and yes, the Russian mafia is after Chili to finish some unwanted business.

Despite these dilemmas, Chili always remains “cool”.  He finds love with Tommy’s late wife Edie (Thurman) and everything he does for Linda turns to gold.  He even manages to get her a gig performing with Aerosmith in front of 20,000 people.  Don’t ask me how but the suave Chili always knows what to do…

It’s a fun character for John Travolta and I’m sure he enjoyed the opening scene of the film where it pokes fun at filmmakers and the idea of a sequel.  There are also a few sly jokes at certain people and methods within both the film and music industries.  It’s trying to be intelligent and it hits the mark on several occasions.

Yet as I’ve already alluded to, there are some horribly disappointing moments.  The usually enjoying Vince Vaughn is dreadful in a role in which he plays a white guy who thinks he’s black.  My criticism is not just of Vaughn but also of the silliness of the character.  In contrast, The Rock steals the whole show.  I can’t believe I’m saying that a former wrestler out-shines the likes of Keitel, Thurman and Travolta but there you have it.  Almost every word and action of The Rock will leave a smile on your face.

Those looking for the lofty heights of Get Shorty will undoubtedly be disappointed.  Those who haven’t seen the predecessor may find a little more amusement.  It’s a tired cliché but once again we have a sequel which just isn’t good enough.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 20 March 2005

Julia Lambert (Bening) is one of the most respected stage actors of London.  She pours everything into her performances and adores the limelight that comes with her stature.  She must at all times be the centre of attention.

No one knows Julia better than her husband Michael (Irons).  A small-time actor himself, Michael is the businessman who operates in the background.  He helps secures the funding for Julia’s plays and keeps track of the ever increasing takings at the box-office.

The relationship that Julia and Michael share is not what you’d expect in London 1938.  As Julia says, their successful marriage can be attributed to the amount of time they don’t spend together.  They are often apart and when they are, they look more like good friends than lovers.

Tiring of her increasing workload on stage, Julia wants a change.  She wants “something to happen”.  It arrives in the form of a young man named Tom Fennel (Shaun Evans) who has adored Julia on stage for many years.  Always worrying about her own age, Julia is hilariously smitten with Tom’s increasing attention.

An affair ensues and Julia slowly lets her guard down.  It will be short-lived however as Tom falls for someone more his own age, a budding blonde actress named Avice Crichton (Lucy Punch).  It’s an emotional blow for the fragile Julia but I will not disclose what happens from here.  It may sound like a tear-jerking drama but I was left with a beaming smile throughout the incredibly well-written finale.

She was dazzling in American Beauty but Being Julia would have to be Annette Bening’s finest role.  The character may be a spoilt diva who acts both on and off the stage but Bening makes her wonderfully endearing and we can’t help but love and applaud her.  Her facial expressions are simply priceless and Bening’s efforts won her a Golden Globe award of which she was thoroughly deserving.

The film is based on a novel by W. Somerset Maugham which I know nothing of.  However, I do know of the two men responsible for bringing it to the screen.  Writer Ron Harwood is a master at adapting a literary work into a great movie screenplay.  He won an Oscar two years ago for The Pianist but I became a fan back in 1995 when he adapted The Browning Version (directed by Mike Figgis and starring Albert Finney).  He’s currently working on a new version of Oliver Twist to be released later this year under the direction of Roman Polanski.

The other man worthy of applause is Hungarian director Istvan Szabo.  Period piece films often develop into a yawn as the director focuses more on the setting rather than the story and its characters.  A man of experience (having been directing for more than 40 years), Szabo keeps the film moving and there is seldom a dull moment.  Particularly impressive is the way he intertwines Michael Gambon’s character throughout.  Mychael Danna’s film score is also worth of a mention – its elegance helps set the light-hearted tone.

Being Julia is a top-notch period piece with some superb one-on-one dialogue.  If you think the melodramatic conversations that Julia shares with her husband can’t be topped, wait till you see her speak with her son.  Annette Bening, take a bow.