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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 13 April 2000

Death is great subject for movies but doesn’t often get deserving treatment.  Final Destination revolves around the theory that death has a design in that it decides when it’s your time and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

There’s a great line during the movie when Alex (Sawa) talks to Clear (Larter) and talks about that one event that sets off the chain.  We’ve all thought about it and many of us have come very close and been none the wiser.  To use an obvious example, look at plane crashes.  Hundreds of people can die in an instant but what of that person who was running late and missed the plane?  It happens.

In Final Destination, a group of 40 students and 4 teachers set off on a high-school field trip to France.  Leading up to the flight, Alex is uncomfortable and upon boarding the plane has a graphic premonition that the plane will explode just after take off.  Freaking out, he gets into a fight with another student, Carter (Smith) and in all, 7 students and a teacher get removed from the flight.

Sure enough the plane goes down but those saved are far from thankful.  One by one, each is killed off in unusual circumstances.  Death had decided that it was their time and since they cheated the design it’s coming back to finish its work.

It’s probably a shame that such a good idea was turned into a teen thriller flick.  Screenwriter Glen Morgan takes the subject matter far too seriously to be acted by a young cast.  Devon Sawa was surprising good in his emotional leading role but the rest were unconvincing.  I would love to have seen this film with more accomplished actors and a better script.

The surprising plus was the direction of first-timer James Wong - it’s great!  His use of close ups, film editing and camera techniques really heighten the suspense.  All the death scenes are beautifully crafted.  You know they’re going to die but you just don’t know how and trust me, they come up with some pretty creative ways.

It’s certainly better than your average teen movie but again falls down with moronic dialogue.  It seems like I say this about every movie but people just don’t talk like this.  When Alex’s best friend Chad is killed, his first reaction is to tell Chad’s parents that it wasn’t his fault.  Why would you say something like that?  Beats me.

You’re not going to find Final Destination in an in-flight movie brochure so as long as you’re not flying anywhere soon, it’s worth a look.  It’s hard to believe but as far as the human race has advanced over the last 10,000 odd years, we’re still no closer to finding out what is on the other side.  But don’t worry, death will see you soon.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 06 April 2000

The show has been on the air for several years and developed a cult following but they are all tired of their roles.  They’re sick of signing autographs and being asked stupid questions by obsessed fans.  Alan Rickman has a great scene at the start of the film where he asks himself - how did I get here?

Meanwhile, in a nebula far, far away, a society known as the Thermians have been watching the show for years thinking they are true “historical documents”.  When they are invaded by a nasty, intrepid species, they arrive on Earth to seek the help of our illustrious “actors”.

Galaxy Quest is one laugh after another and is a truly inspired idea.  It begins as a Star Trek spoof and pokes fun at everything from the suits to the dialogue and ridiculous story lines that flood most of today’s space shows (ala Red Dwarf, Babylon 5 and Star Trek).  The film continues its comedy but takes on a sentimental tone midstream as the team heads into outerspace to a world they know all too well.

Tim Allen is a great actor/comedian and is wonderful again here in the leading role as his crossover from TV to the big screen continues to flourish.  Sigorney Weaver illustrates her diversity and Alan Rickman steals the show with his brilliant sarcasm. 

There are so few good scripts floating around this time of year but Galaxy Quest is certainly one of them.  It will leave you with a smile and a warm, fuzzy feeling.  The best lines are spread amongst ,all the cast and there are just too many to name but there was a great scene towards the end when Allen and Weaver argue about a metal crunching machine.

The film’s final moment is ironic in itself and tops off a satisfying adventure.  Rated PG, Galaxy Quest is open to all audiences and based on the screening I attended, adults are going to find more than plenty to giggle at.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 06 April 2000

The story is set in 2020 when a group of international astronauts travel to Mars for exploration and research.  When a group go missing on the surface (led by Don Cheadle), another crew is set out after them (led by Tim Robbins and Gary Sinese).  They have their trials and tribulations along the way and upon reaching the surface, lo and behold, they discover the secret of the universe - in that all life started on Mars.  Wow!

Brian De Palma is losing all credibility as a director with this film stinking like his previous two - Mission: Impossible and Snake Eyes.  The special effects are ordinary.  In today’s modern age, when seeing films like The Phantom Menace and The Matrix, I can’t understand how the production company could be satisfied with these visual images.  It looks like something from an 80s TV movie.

No one in the cast is funny or interesting and the dialogue is shocking.  I can’t think what Sinese and Robbins were thinking to sign on to this movie - I thought much better of them.

I will not waste additional time describing the agony I endured sitting through two hours of total crap.  I would prefer to spend the time having teeth extracted than to sit through Mission To Mars a second time.  I have now witnessed a movie which sets a benchmark for bad movies to come - one that will live long into the history books.  You have been warned...

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 30 March 2000

A bizarre chain of events is then set off.  Oz’s wife promises to divorce him (which is a good thing) if he goes to Chicago to claim a finder’s fee for revealing Jimmy’s location to his archrival Yani Gogolack (Kevin Pollak).  Oz goes but soon finds out just about everyone has been hired to kill him but can’t seem to because he’s such a nice guy.

Matthew Perry may have all the charm and great lines on Friends but he cannot cut it on the big screen.  I am so tired of his usual shtick - the whole innocent, puppy-dog look.  His performance makes the film look like one of those U.S. sitcoms that gets axed after two weeks.  Roles like this aren’t going to get him very far - it shows how limited his range is.

Again the rest of the cast is a tired looking, over-the-top ensemble that are just too stupid to be funny with the rare exception of Bruce Willis who is the lone standout.  The screenplay relies on lame jokes thrown in with gratuitous nudity - it’s a throwback to the 1980s.

A good comedy is perhaps the hardest type of film to generate because everyone has a different sense of humour and it’s hard to satisfy everyone.  This film takes no risks whatsoever.  It relies on material that’s been done many times before because it knows the audience will just eat it up (and many will).  I love a great comedy as much as anyone but I’m looking for jokes and scenarios that I cannot preempt (ala There’s Something About Mary, Being John Malkovich, Election).

My advice for The Whole Nine Yards is to just get on the net and download the film’s trailer.  You’ll get all the best parts, you’ll know the whole story, and you’ll save yourself $12 and two hours.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 06 April 2000

Superb computer graphics bring Stuart to life and you don’t even notice the effects are there.  It received an Academy Award nomination for its brilliant visual effects.

I was surprised to find the screenwriter behind this children’s tale was M. Night Shyamalan, the same man who penned The Sixth Sense.  I don’t think you could find two films more unlike that came from the same writer.  It almost guarantees Shyamalan’s future and I’m really looking forward to his next project.

What works for Stuart Little is direction designed for a younger audience.  It’s kept simple with dialogue that’s easy to understand, lots of vibrant colours, costumes and sets, and plenty of action with cute, furry animals.  Having grossed over $100m in the United States., it’s been a sure fire hit amongst the kids.

Geena Davis and Hugh Laurie play the live action parents and you’ll have fun guessing the voices of the other characters.  Michael J. Fox voices Stuart but keep your ear out for Nathan Lane, Chazz Palminteri, Estelle Getty, Steve Zahn and even Jennifer Tilly.

The only disappointing aspect I had with the film was with the underdeveloped story.  It’s not all that exciting and perhaps could have done with some sprucing up and more interesting subplots.  It’s the sort of story you could sum up in a 30-minute TV episode, not a full-length motion picture.

Filled with charm and cuteness, Stuart Little has been a kids’ favourite for a long time (in book form) and it will only rise in popularity given this screen adaptation.  Take the kids, sit back, relax and enjoy.