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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 10 October 2005

There’s a familiar saying that you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.  It’s the perfect analogy to describe the relationship between sisters Maggie (Diaz) and Rose (Collette).  They are as different as chalk and cheese but there’s an unbreakable connection between them that has come with spending their entire lives together.

Rose lives in a nice apartment and has a high-paying job with a law firm.  She has have the image of success of Rose can find the negative in any positive.  Always self-conscious about her appearance, she is still looking for the right guy to build a life with.  Her idea of a good night is lying alone in bed, watching television and eating potato chips.

Maggie has never had a serious job.  She’s a party girl who has mooched off many guys and never settled down.  She still lives at home with her father whose patience is wearing a little thin.  Maggie’s ideal night out would see her wearing a skimpy outfit, hitting the nightclubs and looking to go home with a good-looking guy.

When Maggie is kicked out of the house by her father and step-mother, she lobs on Rose’s doorstep looking for a place to live.  Two events soon follow though which will change their relationship.  Firstly, Maggie learns they have a living grandmother named Ella (MacLaine) who lives in Hollywood.  Her father had always told her she was dead.  The second event will shatter Rose and Maggie’s relationship and if you haven’t seen the trailer, I won’t spoil it for you.

The result is that Rose and Maggie’s worlds are turned upside down.  Maggie heads to Florida to meet her long-lost grandmother and hopefully find someone who can keep funding her swanky lifestyle.  Rose quits her law career and starts walking dogs for a living.  Forced outside their comfort zones, Maggie and Rose soon learn there’s a lot more to be gotten out of life.

I’ve seen few films which do a better job of capturing the essence of what family is all about.  Maggie, Rose and Ella are very interesting characters and the screenwriters have done a great job in defining their flaws.  We can relate to their problems and their differences should strike an emotional cord with the audience.  They were reaching for the tissues at my screening.

The star of the film is Australia’s own Toni Collete and it marks her best performance since Muriel’s Wedding.  She skilfully shows her character’s insecurities without ever overacting.  The other standout is the great Shirley MacLaine (Terms Of Endearment) who gives the film a real boost in the final hour.  She looks so effortless when acting and it’d be nice to see her earn another Academy Award nomination for her role here.  I have a slight qualm with Cameron Diaz but it’s the result of a misstep on the part of the screenwriters.  I just didn’t believe Maggie’s transformation in the later stages and her relationship with the residents of the old folks home was too cute.

I’m a long time fan of director Curtis Hanson (L.A. Confidential, Wonder Boys, 8 Mile) and those who appreciate the nuances of a good director will see his signature style all through the film.  I love how he doesn’t try to be flashy – he just puts the camera in the perfect position and lets the story and the actors do the work for him.  In Her Shoes is one of the better films I’ve seen in a while.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 04 October 2005

I’ve seen a few critics promoting this film.  If you want proof that movies can make for great conversation, bring one of these people to me.  They would rave about the outstanding action and I would vent my frustrations my discussing the complete disregard for realism.  The funny thing is that we’d probably both agree.  It’s like the old adage – is the glass half full or half empty?  Do you prefer action or storyline?

I’m a fan of a good old-fashioned story and this film was sorely lacking in that department.  The Transporter, aka Frank Martin (Statham), is now working as a driver for a wealth family.  When their son is kidnapped by a group of terrorists who are demanding a $5m reward, Frank is determined to see them brought to justice.  Why?  Because Frank promised the kid that he’d never let anything bad happen to him whilst under his protection.

The terrorists have developed a virus which can kill everyone who comes in contact with in inside 24 hours.  There’s an antidote which will keep them safe.  They are going to release it to send a message to a bunch of world health organisations.  Why, I don’t know.  What will be achieved by killing everyone on the planet?

Their plan of course will never come to fruition thanks to the Transporter.  When you see the situations he manages to extricate himself from, you’ll finally believe that there someone is out there luckier than James Bond.  Frank never carries a gun but he doesn’t need to because he can dodge bullets (even when shot from just 3 feet away).

In determining the worst scene of the film, there were plenty of contenders to choose from.  What about where Frank drive his car off a cark park roof and into an adjoining development building?  What about where he jumps onto the wheels of a moving plane during take-off and climbs aboard?  Nope.  The winner has to be a scene in which Frank drives his car up a ramp, flips it, and gently brushes a hook dangling from a crane which perfectly removes a bomb underneath which will explode in two seconds.

Ok, I’m taking myself too seriously here but I don’t care.  You have to draw a line somewhere.  The original Transporter wasn’t a bad film but in the words of Mr. Cranky, this is indeed “a festering wound in the anus of cinema”.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 October 2005

As the title tells us all, Andy Stitzer (Carell) is a 40-year-old virgin.  He’s always wanted to seal the deal but bad luck, bad timing and an overall lack of confidence has left him without.  When his friends from work learn of this fact, they’re determined to help him break the drought.

His friends though aren’t the greatest experts when it comes to wooing the ladies.  They cause more harm than good but it’s the perfect plot device to provide entertainment for the audience.  There are quite a few crude references so guys should perhaps be cautious when taking their girlfriends along.  If you need a guide, I counted several bestiality jokes.

Andy looks to have found the perfect chance when he meets Trish (Keener), a single mother who runs an unusual business.  The two enjoy spending time together but the pressure is building on Andy to take the relationship that one step further…

The 40-Year-Old Virgin has been the surprise hit of America so far this year.  Released in August (traditionally a dead time of the year), the film has grossed over $100m to date.  I can’t explain why it’s been the success that it has.  Perhaps we take enjoyment in the fact that even the ultimate nerd can still find romance.

Despite the good buzz from the U.S., I was a little disappointed with the comedy.  Some scenes were very funny but others weren’t.  Like many other comedies of late, the writers are stretching to make it last the full 90 minutes.  There’s padding and a few unnecessary subplots.  Evidenced by the length of this review, I need a longer attention span.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 02 October 2005

Four weeks ago at my local cinema, there was a one-off Thursday night advance screening of Serenity which was open to the public.  I hadn’t heard of the film at the time and it struck me as odd that the studio would allow an advance screening so far ahead of its release.  When that Thursday night came around, I was at the cinema seeing another movie (Red Eye) and on walking out, saw a very, very long queue.  Sure enough, it was for Serenity – sold out and despite not starting for another hour, the lucky ticket holders were already in line for the best seats.

It was then time to do some research to find out what I was missing.  Joss Whedon (the creator of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer television series) had created a new sci-fi show called Firefly.  The show aired in 2002 but was cancelled after just 11 episodes had screened in the U.S.  Many television shows develop a cult audience but the fans of Firefly were incredibly passionate about the new series.  They campaigned strongly for the show to be continued on another network and for the episodes already made to be released on DVD.   

Releasing there was a lot of love for these characters, Universal Studios took the unusual step of commissioning a movie.  This brings us to today.  The early box-office numbers aren’t strong and I don’t think it’s going to be a very profitable exercise for Universal, but it’s nice to see “people power” having its influence in Hollywood.

Serenity is set well into the future.  Earth has become overpopulated and so its people have now moved to a brand new solar system which has had its planets calibrated to give them the same look and feel as Earth.  Mal (Fillion) is captain of an aging spaceship which has travelling through space on a series of adventures.  He has an eccentric crew with whom he often has disagreements but it’s a fun-loving bunch, similar to what you’d see in a Star Trek movie.

This film sees the team rescue a girl named River from a top-secret science facility.  She is the sister of a fellow crew member and was being used in a bizarre experiment where memories were being erased and replaced with others (or so I thought).  The escape goes to plan but what follows is a massive search by the authorities to find her.  What is so special about this girl?  The crew know they are jeopardising their own lives by protecting her but their curiosity for the truth leads them on a journey to the far reaches of the galaxy...

Writer/director Joss Whedon has a cute sense of humour and there are several scenes which “spoof” the science-fiction genre.  Even during the film’s most dramatic scenes, Whedon still manages to weave in a few jokes.  If you’ve seen the film’s trailer though, you may have already seen the best of the jokes.  

It’s not a bad film but I did struggle to keep involved with the story.  There are a many characters (one of whom meets an unexpectedly funny demise) and those who have seen the television series will already understand who they are and what makes them so interesting.   Firefly is now showing here in Australia on Foxtel but having not yet caught up with it, this film didn’t pinch my funny bone as much as it will for others.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 09 October 2005

Must Love Dogs is a terribly cheesy romantic comedy.  It reminds me of the stupid American sitcoms that don’t make it on our free-to-air television, and instead debut on Foxtel.  Some like these kind of movies.  I don’t.  I need originality and if you’re looking for a much better film about romance, check out Curtis Hanson’s In Her Shoes which is also currently showing.

Sarah (Lane) is a divorced 40-something pre-school teacher.  All her family and friends (including the token gay couple) are helping her get back in the game.  They are bringing over photos of eligible bachelors and signing her up to internet dating websites.  The obvious question, of course, is how come someone as good looking as Diane Lane can’t find a decent man?

After a few botched dates, Sarah meets Jake (Cusack), also on the rebound and also loving dogs.  They get off to a decent start but things become complicated when Sarah finds herself being wooed by Bobby (Mulroney), the father of one of her students.  She’s now gone from having no options, to having two very viable options.

The worst part of Must Love Dogs is the dribble which comes from their mouths.  You feel there’s no spontaneity and almost every line of dialogue feels too smartly written.  It’s trying too hard.  Diane Lane and John Cusack are great actors who are the best performers in the film but the supporting characters are terribly written.  They’re walking clichés and the more they spoke, the more I reached for my sick bag.

Now knowing that people like Diane Lane can be found on the internet, I’m off for some net dating…