Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 25 September 2005

I feel strangely sympathetic towards Rob Schneider and Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.  Schneider has been in Australia over the past week doing his best to promote the film.  Listening to his interviews, I found that Schneider is quite funny in person.  This shouldn’t come as a surprise considering that in the early 1990s, he had a permanent place in the highly-rated American comedy show Saturday Night Live.

You also have to give credit to Schneider and his move to the bigger screen.  There are so few people (especially comedians) who make a decent transition from television to movies.  Aside from cameos in just about every Adam Sandler movie, Schneider has had starring roles in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, The Hot Chick and The Animal.  I didn’t like any of these films but they fact they averaged more than $50m at the U.S. box-office shows that other people did.

That said, this is a really, really bad movie and if you’ve ready any other reviews for the film, you’ll know this already.  Some films are so bad though, that they actually become funny.  Recent examples include Kevin & Perry Go Large, Freddie Got Fingered and Dude, Where’s My Car?  The jokes are that bad, you can’t help but laugh in the cinema.  Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo fits into this select category and drew many laughs at the screening I attended (some from myself).  As the saying goes – “you dare not look but you cannot turn away”.

European Gigolo sees Deuce (Schneider) fleeing to Amsterdam after a run in with the law back home.  Once there, he meets up with fellow gigolo and friend T.J. Hicks (Griffin) who owns a houseboat which is parked in a canal near the red light district.  T.J. now works has a pimp but business has been tough with many leading gigolos recently been murdered on the job.  When T.J. is wrongly arrested for the crimes, Deuce knows he must save the day.  It’s time to get back in the business of “man-whoring” and find out who the real killer is.

From the opening scene, the jokes are awful and don’t get any better.  I haven’t had the heart to watch the original Deuce Bigalow film since I saw it back in 2000 but some of these jokes feel awfully familiar.  Deuce meets an assortment of new women with various quirks but as I’ve just said, it’s funny only because it’s dumb.  One woman is a giant who makes Deuce dress up as a baby.  One woman has a hole in her throat which spits out wine when she drinks it.  One woman was born in Chernobyl and has a male “appendage” attached to her face.  If that isn’t stupid enough for you, there’s an abundance of gay jokes involving T.J. and a few gags about tourists defecating on the streets of Amsterdam.

It may have my worst rating but if there’s any bad film you need to see this year then this is probably it.  Whether you’re laughing with the film or at the film, at least you’re still laughing!

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 12 September 2005

The film was truly awful and during the later stages, my mind turned to how best to describe it in my review.  Without being completely distasteful (which I often am), I thought about another film from director Rob Cohen, The Fast & The Furious.

I’m not a huge action fan but I enjoyed Furious.  The stunts were pretty cool and there was a half-interesting storyline.  There was an undercover cop, a gang of street racers and some rough and ready romance.  It’s the kind of film I could easily watch again and would recommend it to most people.

Stealth, on the other hand, doesn’t even have the basic structure a movie.  There’s no script and some of the action sequences look like they’ve been put together by a 7-year-old on an etch-a-sketch.  What you see on screen is special effects gone mad.  You see planes zipping around the sky but it all happens so fast and so stupidly, that there’s no hope of finding any sanity amongst it all.

The “plot” concerns a group of three elite pilots who have been introduced to their latest team member.  The quirk is that the new addition isn’t real – it’s a robotic plane with super-intelligence that can fly without human control.  Unfortunately, the Americans who designed it, failed to test it properly.  It’s been rushed into operation and goes off and causes a nuclear bomb to detonate in some country near Russia with an unpronounceable name.

It seems the only people who can save the day are the three real pilots (played by Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel and Jamie Foxx).  They go in search of the rogue plane and try to bring it back under their control.  In doing so, they blow up a hell of a lot of people in North Korea but that’s ok, because North Korea is bad, right?  And by creating a fictitious enemy, it takes the focus away from the fact that it’s the American military and its corruption and arrogance that is the real enemy.

Ok, I know I’m being disrespectful now so I apologise.  It’s hard not to get fired up by a clichéd ridden piece of tripe.  Fans of Jessica Biel (The Rules Of Attraction) might enjoy the film.  They somehow manage to weave in a scene where she goes to Thailand for a holiday and wanders around near a waterfall in a revealing bikini for a few minutes.  Doesn’t have much context but neither does anything else in the film.

Late in the film, there are two cameos from Australians Richard Roxburgh (Moulin Rouge) and John Waters.  This struck me as strange but I learned later that the film was made here in Australia at Fox Studios in Sydney.  What a waste of resources.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 20 September 2005

The Internet Movie Database is the world’s leading website for movie information.  One of my favourite features is the Daily Poll – a question is suggested by a member of the public and the rest of us voice our opinions.  On 2 September 2005, we were asked what the worst movie was of the summer.  Over 11,500 votes were cast and two films stood out with 38% of the vote between them – Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo and The Dukes Of Hazzard.

So close was the voting between two films that on 12 September 2005, we were again given the question but this time with just Gigolo and Hazzard as the options.  Thankfully for the creators of The Dukes Of Hazzard, they only managed 42% of the 13,520 votes.  Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo beat it to the finish line – it is the worst film of the 2005 summer.  Now I haven’t seen Gigolo yet (I get that luxury this weekend) but this result says plenty about what people think of The Dukes Of Hazzard – it’s a terrible motion picture.

Cousins Luke (Knoxville) and Bo (Scott) are trouble makers in Hazzard County.  I don’t know why.  There’s a bad guy named Boss Hogg (Reynolds) who seems to control the town and plans on digging it up for oil.  This fiendish plan is going to go unnoticed by the citizens of Hazard because when it goes before Town Hall, the whole town will be watching a rally car race put on by Hogg himself.

The one star I haven’t mentioned in Jessica Simpson who plays Daisy Duke.  I don’t watch MTV enough but apparently there’s some film clip of her washing a car which is borderline “pornography”.  Sorry folks but this scene isn’t the film.  You’ll still find plenty to look at though because Simpson wears nothing but a revealing top and an incredibly skimpy pair of shorts.  Her acting isn’t that bad but perhaps it just looks that way opposite the appalling Burt Reynolds.

If I had to search for a highlight, there’s a scene which is a reference to another film from director Jay Chandrasekhar, Super Troopers.  Quite a few people spotted it in my cinema.  If you aren’t a fan of endless car chases, that’ll be the only 5 seconds of entertainment you expect.  I usually find Sean William Scott (American Pie) pretty funny but he’s destroyed by this unfunny script.

That’ll do for this review I think.  I’ll save my more scathing material for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo next week.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 10 September 2005

Will Stronghold (Angarano) is starting his freshman year at Sky High, the school where kids with super-powers learn how to harness their ability and use it to benefit mankind.  There’s a lot of expectation on Will because he’s the son of the world’s two leading superheros, The Commander (Russell) and Jetstream (Preston).  Unfortunately for Will, he hasn’t developed any powers yet and hasn’t had the guts to tell his parents.

It doesn’t take long for Will to make his first “mortal enemy”.  Fellow student Warren Peace is determined to make Will’s school life a difficult experience.  You see, Warren’s dad is a super-villain and was defeated and put into jail by Will’s parents.  When the two face off in a cafeteria brawl, Will’s dream comes true – he develops super-human strength and manages to defend himself.  The end result though is a trip to the detention room.

Will’s best friend is Layla (Danielle Panabaker) but he is oblivious to the fact she has a huge crush on him.  It goes from bad to worse for Layla when Will falls for Gwen, an older student and head of the Homecoming Dance committee.  The two start spending all their time together and Layla has to take a back seat.  Things are about to change however with evil forces planning on destroying Sky High and Will’s parents in the process.  It’s up to Will to save the day.

I’ve heard this film compared to The Incredibles and that’s a fair description.  It’s a film which looks at superheroes in a more personal, comedic light.  Sky High is cute but it’s in no way as entertaining as The Incredibles, which was one of the most smartly written animated films ever made.  There are some gaping holes in the Sky High story but it’s designed for kids and I like the overall premise so I’m prepared to give it some slack.

There’s a good performance in the film from Michael Angarano (Lords Of Dogtown) who plays Will Stronghold.  He has a sheepish look that fits the character perfectly.  The star power comes from Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston but the script doesn’t give them much to work with - their dialogue is fairly plain and rigid.

It’s just good enough for kids to enjoy this school holidays.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 18 September 2005

Only a dozen or so documentaries are released in Australian cinemas each year.  This comes as no surprise considering they usually struggle at the box-office and have trouble finding an audience.  Those that are selected for release here usually come with a flood of positive reviews and a few awards already under their belt.  Since huge marketing budgets can’t be afforded, good word of mouth is the best thing a releasing studio can hope for.

Murderball fits this methodology perfectly.  It won the audience award for best documentary at the lucrative Sundance Film Festival back in January 2005.  It was shown at several film festivals across Australia (including our own here in Brisbane) where the response from both the public and the critics was also very strong.  All evidence suggests it is a very good film and now having seen it, I couldn’t agree more.

The film follows the path of the American wheel-chair rugby team and their quest to earn the gold medal at the 2004 Paralympic Games in Athens, Greece.  The sport was once known as “murderball” but it made the sport hard to market and hence the more friendly title.  The U.S. team had won every wheel-chair rugby competition until the 2002 World Championships where they were upset by Canada.  This created a fierce rivalry which grew fiercer as the 2004 Games approached...

Despite the title, the film’s focus isn’t on the sport of wheel-chair rugby.  It’s about paraplegics who have overcome much adversity.  The filmmakers have selected six members from the U.S. team and profile their stories.  We see how they came to be disabled, the horrors they went through with their recovery and their realisation that they could still live an equally fulfilling life.

It’s a difficult subject to approach but it’s done in a straight-forward, informative manner.  I learned much about paraplegics which I didn’t otherwise know.  There’s a particularly funny story involving a patient, a nurse and a sponge-bath.  The humour is balanced with scenes of emotion and confrontation.  I sensed that the film itself played a small part in each athlete’s own mental rehabilitation.

At a nicely packaged 85 minutes, Murderball is an interesting film which finishes with an ironic twist.