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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 30 March 2000

A bizarre chain of events is then set off.  Oz’s wife promises to divorce him (which is a good thing) if he goes to Chicago to claim a finder’s fee for revealing Jimmy’s location to his archrival Yani Gogolack (Kevin Pollak).  Oz goes but soon finds out just about everyone has been hired to kill him but can’t seem to because he’s such a nice guy.

Matthew Perry may have all the charm and great lines on Friends but he cannot cut it on the big screen.  I am so tired of his usual shtick - the whole innocent, puppy-dog look.  His performance makes the film look like one of those U.S. sitcoms that gets axed after two weeks.  Roles like this aren’t going to get him very far - it shows how limited his range is.

Again the rest of the cast is a tired looking, over-the-top ensemble that are just too stupid to be funny with the rare exception of Bruce Willis who is the lone standout.  The screenplay relies on lame jokes thrown in with gratuitous nudity - it’s a throwback to the 1980s.

A good comedy is perhaps the hardest type of film to generate because everyone has a different sense of humour and it’s hard to satisfy everyone.  This film takes no risks whatsoever.  It relies on material that’s been done many times before because it knows the audience will just eat it up (and many will).  I love a great comedy as much as anyone but I’m looking for jokes and scenarios that I cannot preempt (ala There’s Something About Mary, Being John Malkovich, Election).

My advice for The Whole Nine Yards is to just get on the net and download the film’s trailer.  You’ll get all the best parts, you’ll know the whole story, and you’ll save yourself $12 and two hours.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 16 March 2000

Imagine his surprise when one afternoon after school he meets school jock John Dixon (Gorton), whom he’s had a crush on for years but never dreamed he was gay.  And so the life of Steven Carter is about to become a little complicated...

Things go well at first and they hit it off but it soon becomes difficult to keep their relationship out of the public eye.  Why would one of the least popular kids and school suddenly become best friends with one of the most popular?  How can they find the time to see each other without their parents suspecting anything?  Threatened with exposure, do they have the guts to “come out”?

Get Real is based on Patrick Wilde’s play What’s Wrong With Andy? who adapted it for the screen and is directed by British TV director Simon Shore.  It’s a fabulous adaptation and an impressive feature of the film is that it captures all the awkward dialogue perfectly.  This is not some American teen flick where every line looks like it’s been rehearsed for hours.  It has a real and honest feel, a characteristic that English filmmakers always seem to capture.

It’s a mixture of comedy of drama with unexpected scene stealing lines from Silverstone and Brittain.  It keeps the pace steady and doesn’t give too much away.  Sure the ending is Hollywood-like but given the aura of the film, it couldn’t have ended more appropriately - it has a message.

Ben Silverstone burst on to the scene in 1994 in one of my favourite films, Mike Figgis’ The Browning Version.  This is his first major role since then and gives an extraordinary performance as Steven Carter and fills the role with brilliant expressions and reactions.  Charlotte Brittain steals all the great dialect and is hilarious as Linda whilst Brad Gorton has the toughest role as John Dixon and has the steadying influence over the film.

Get Real has been a big hit at film festivals around the world and made the top 10 of the audience’s vote at both the Brisbane and Sydney International Film Festivals in 1999.  Touching, funny and poignant, Get Real is a real people’s favourite.

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Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 23 March 2000

In Scream 3, we again follow the traumatic life of Sidney Prescott (Campbell) who this time has gone into hiding following her recent thrilling experiences.  Back in California, production is set to begin on Stab 3 - the third in a series of films based around the Hillsboro murders and is to be produced by acclaimed horror producer John Milton (Henriksen).

Suddenly, the cast members of Stab 3 begin are killed off and the original “gang” are reunited.  Gale Whethers (Cox) returns to assist police in their investigations, Dewey Riley (Arquette) appears as an assistant to the film and Sidney comes out of hiding after the killer learns her secret location.

Scream 3 lacks all the charm and wit of the first two.  Neve Campbell is hardly seen, David Arquette and Courtney Cox continue their love/hate relationship and the newcomers overplay their roles.  It looks more like something from the dreadful I Know What You Did Last Summer series rather than the Scream series.  Parker Posey is clearly the standout performer in playing Jennifer Jolie (the Gale Whethers of Stab 3).

Ehren Kruger is responsible for the screenplay of Scream 3 and it is not up to the previous two (both penned by Kevin Williamson).  There are some really tacky moments including a conversation between Sidney and police officer Mark Kincaid (Dempsey) regarding movie trilogies.

I suppose a plausible ending could have saved the film but the disenchantment continued.  The ending is a real disappointment - it follows no real logic and makes little sense.  One of the pleasing aspects of the first two films is that there were multiple choices when guessing the killer and it became a real talking point as to whether you could pick who did it.  By the end of this film, I couldn’t care.

Hopefully this will bring closure to the Wes Craven’s Scream series.  Sure the last film was a letdown but it was one hell of a ride.  It redefined horror films and brought new audiences to the cinema.  For those familiar (and unfamiliar) with the first two,  I can’t recommend them strongly enough and suggest a trip to the video store is in order to catch up on the adventures of Sidney Prescott.  As you finish watching each three, you’ll see just how much has changed and how commercial the line has become.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 16 March 2000

From first time director Diane Keaton, Hanging Up isn’t worth answering.  The opening is just a tiresome, annoying sequence of phone calls and the stars are nothing more than overplayed rich bitches.  These people are not real in any shape or form.  As the film draws to its obvious conclusions, tears are shed as the girls reunite and they all live happily ever after.

Walter Matthau is the standout and provides the film’s best moments.  Meg Ryan is reasonable but Keaton and Kudrow are just wasted in their “plastic” roles.  Keaton’s direction isn’t much to be jumping about either - it’s pretty standard.

Following in the tradition of The First Wives Club, this movie is only going to appeal to women and there is absolutely no material here to maintain the interest of the opposite gender.  It’s a tiresome set up because you know where it’s all going and whilst the ending does have some touching moments, you’re just too tired to care anymore.

With an array of strange and useless side characters, this film is poor at best.  Don’t ask me what the point to all the phone calls was because I just didn’t get it.  I guess you can say I was “disconnected”.

Details

Written by Matthew Toomey

Created: 16 March 2000

The Story Of Us, from acclaimed director Rob Reiner, is a passionate insight into what makes up a marriage and how many last as long as they do.  Bruce Willis is particularly frank in his portrayal and perhaps his recent split with Demi Moore provided inspiration.

The story is told by a series of flashbacks as the two reflect upon happier times and how they arrived to the current day.  As bad as things seem, they are determined to put the kids first and don’t want them having the impression that something is amiss.

It posses lots of questions but doesn’t offer too many answers which is the way it should be.  Many will see similarities with past or current relationships and it’s a movie that makes you realise that this happens to a lot of people and things cannot always work out.  The burning question is where is that point of no return and have they reached it?

The film is filled with many lighthearted moments also including a fantastic scene with Willis, Rob Reiner and Rita Wilson in a restaurant.  It’s a mixture of comedy and emotion without having it all forced down your throat.

A refreshing romantic drama which finally tells it how it is rather than how we want to be.  Well told and creatively shot, there are a few lessons to be learnt for us all.